Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2015-04-08 06:32:14 (UTC)

Always Juggling

Today tested me at every turn, but surprisingly I managed to stay in a somewhat positive mood. This is a continued struggle for me. I slip into pessimism fairly easily. I was already feeling a little grumpy because I had to close. I hate closing. More so now that I don't do it as often as I used to. I probably close once a week. I should be grateful. It probably stems back to all of the years all I did was close. I did my time! Inventory is happening tonight too, so the store was kind of busy and distracting. Lots of associates and lots of inventory workers. Several times through the evening I reminded myself to be grateful I'm not staying until 1am to do inventory and help recover the store. It could be worse.

The only thing that kind of irritated me beyond the usual irritations, was finding out that the payout for March sales incentive isn't until the 1st of May. This seems so stupid to me. Usually it's the second paycheck after the end of the month, but because of the way days fell (or some crap), I don't get that money until the 1st. Of course it's the month we actually needed that money to make my car payment (Snookums bought me a Fiat 500L back in January). I had a conversation with Snookums when I got home tonight about finding another job. It's a very sore subject for me, all of the events that led up to him quitting his job and us being in the delicate balancing act we're currently in. I think about it daily. Money is always on my mind, and I hate it. I miss the financial security we used to have. Sure, we're okay, but I feel like I'm always juggling.

I want to focus on letting things go. Like our minor money situation. I'm stressing myself out more than I need to. Experience has taught me that tough times don't last, and that I am smart enough to figure out even the most sticky situations. Almost as soon as I found out we weren't getting my bonus in time to make my car payment, I was working out possible solutions. I've got a couple options. I just need to take a deep breath and let it go... it will be okay. It always is. Sometimes I think I worry so much, because my husband doesn't seem to worry at all. If he does, he isn't telling me. He's not the best when it comes to communicating his feelings. I wish he wanted to work on himself as much as I want to work on myself. Imagine how much stronger our marriage would be? Not that I think it's in danger now (it isn't... at the moment). I guess I know what our next conversation should be about.




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