Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2015-04-01 07:48:30 (UTC)

Self-doubt is a Bitch

I'm fairly confident I made the sales incentive for March. My month to date numbers were good, and I had a good day today. I always doubt myself, even when the numbers are right in front of me. Written in black and white. Self-doubt is a bitch. I guess I like to prepare myself for letdown, so the fall isn't quite as far. With Snookums not working right now, I really want to bring in as much income as I can. The pressure is there, but it isn't crisis level yet. When I get back from my trip, however. I will be lighting a fire under his ass. Dude needs to be working...

I did actually drag myself out of bed this morning to go to the gym! It was like I'd never stopped going. I did basically the same workout I used to do. I just used lower weights. There's nothing worse than throwing yourself into a workout, overdoing it, then ending up hellaciously sore. The last thing I need is any kind of self-imposed set back! Of course, I ran into a few people I know. It's the downside of a YMCA membership. Everyone goes there. I need to work on getting over my anti-socialness. It's just not very high on my priority list.

15 days until my trip! I'm definitely starting to feel a little nervous about it. I need to start preparing. I'm still going back and forth between REALLY wanting to go, and wishing I could get a refund on my ticket. I know it's something that needs to happen if I'm going to ever start feeling like I live a worthwhile life, but fear is a hell of an obstacle. I will remove this wall brick by brick, but in the meantime, I get to be nervous about it!

Tomorrow I will head back to the gym. Not that I expect to make huge progress in two weeks, but there is some added motivation to get in shape. As silly as it sounds, I want to vegan body to go along with the vegan title. I don't feel like I look like I'm vegan. Unless I'm a vegan who lives off of French fries (which I'm not).




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