My Letter To The World
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2015-03-26 22:54:48 (UTC)

Tired typing

Todays the first official prayer meeting Us dreamers are having and the spiritual attack on me at least has been intence and i've felt shell shocked all day.
the meeting is In an Hour and 12 minutes.
Tammy and Gene are supposed to come...I'm afraid Gene might be dissapointed and Tammy...well i don't know her well enought to guess nor can i waste emotional energy on trying to.
I feel slightly sick and nervous.

The argument i got into with the king and queen drained all my energy today...
I feel like they expect me to know exactally what i'm doing with this and i can't because i've never done this before!
I don't know what it will look like i only know that it's what i'm supposed to do and at this moment i would like nothing more than to run away from it...
but there will be no Jona's amoung us.
I feel so stressed and everything feels so heavy
i'm not supposed to have the freakin maturaty of a person in their 50s, 40, 30, or eveb late 20s... i'm Only one person and i'm only 20!
why God are you even using me?
please help me and give me peace that only comes from you...and the strenght to do this..
please give that to us all.