Therapist

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2015-03-24 04:01:33 (UTC)

He wanted to hang out today:) Antonio, but..

He wanted to hang out today:) Antonio, but he lives probably an hour away, not bad. But really. Our schools played against at each other. He wanted to chill. Lol omg! Like, ok I tell my self to "calm down" he's just a boy, not a famous person lol

I shouldn't freak out over a boy, he might not be looking at me like that. I hope not. I'm not going to be good at relationships. Like I keep telling myself he's just a boy, with a future on computer science. Omg. I'm so scared. So dang scared. OMG. Here we go again with the stupid 'what ifs' like I should care less right?!?!? Maybe ms.B is right I need to start fixing my hair. Lol

Oh, well. I hope it's not awkward or anything. Where should we go?!? The fair. No is sweat. And stink up. Or! Invite him to a soccer game? No, he wouldn't feel comfortable. I try to place myself in his shoes. If he invited me to a game with his friends.. I would feel awkward. Lol

So no friends on this meet up. Haha right?? Sounds good right??? Maybe I can text Anna and Alexis the two people hat know about this. Gabby not so much. Her parents are strict. I Gould tell Naya. Maybe this in my head won't happen. Antonio's a senior I don't think he'd would like I go to the fair or maybe the mall?? Nah. To much lol I might see people over there. Haha I should think about it when I over think stuff I tend to screw it up. Maybe he just wants to be friends. I hope he isn't a guy that just "hits it and quits it" or what ever they say. Or maybe just friends for now. Please. Lets take things slow. I notice this random guy I don't even know snap chatted me. I hate it when guys do that! Text first than actually talk and have a normal conversation. /. I smiled at the snap chats Antonio sent me. And rolled my eyes on the guy , I for got is name, derrin or something . Yeah. Not intrested.

Ok this is going out of control I'm smiling when Antonio replies... Omg. I really really hope he isn't looking for sex. I'm still a bug fat virgin. I never had my first kiss or sex or held hands with a boy.

Ok I need to stop overt bunking this! Ugh! STOP DEE!!! He's just a BOY!

I need to focus on applying to schools and sighting up for scholarships or I hope I'm smart to get a scholarship.

OMG I need I stop fussing about I'm still a virgin or what not. My time will come. If it is with or with our Antonio. Andres. Or Izzy.

Omg. Please lord help me.

Please I need to start saving for a camera. Please guide me. Please lord! I need a road to make good decisions :$ thank you virincita^_* thank you Jessie thank you for giving me the job. It's not much but thank you :) it's something thank you:) I'm sorry I have been self fish. I should start going to the college and career center. Omg! Please lord. Please, help me. I want to be motivated to apply for scholarships and saving up for stuff, please let Naya go to prom. Please let her have a beautiful gown. Please. Please. Let her not stress please take good care of Naya when she leaves. I'm scared for her. Please protect her. Please have her set some good goals. Please. My wart ache when she tells me she doesn't know why to do. She's my fav. Out of 3 please . Sorry. Sorry I chose favorites. Please forgive me. I'm sorry Naya is the only one that understands me. Please /.


Let me decide to go to college and save up do my camera please lord Jesus. Please!!!! Please! Don't let me work at sonic for ever! Please for give the people who treated me wrong. Especially forgive me for sinning the most horrible things thank you for listening. Please help not to fall in lie yet. Please I hope I don't screw this up for the 3rd time please. I'm 17. Let me be me. Please help me be me

Yours trully
The nerdy one, Geek freak, The pushover :) words hat describe me




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