Screened In Porch

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2015-02-08 12:59:21 (UTC)

Sunday morning...

Was up early again. I am falling to sleep earlier. So, one thing
good about all this is I am getting a lot of rest. I am sleeping
longer at a time, drinking less water at night keeps me from
peeing so much. Duh. Go figure. Or could it be the Nutra Bullet
smoothies I been drinking lately....complete with spinach. LOL

I have gain some unwanted pounds since getting this silly cold. My
damn stomach is bulged out. I look pregnant. This can not be
good. Okay, so I suppose I could look at it as a test, research
in my life just to see how I would look if I let myself go....and
gained this much weight. Okay, test over. Results are in. I do
not like this. I will say this though, some women can carry
extra weight and look so good. I am not one of them. Unfortunately
I am a size 12 girl. I need to get to that size and stay there...
I know this about myself.

So now I have a challenge.

Starting this week sometime. Holy shit...I got to be in that
damn long boring class all day tomorrow. I hope I can find
something to wear that does not smell like pot.

Good lord. I can not be trusted with that shit. Can I?

I have not had any in a couple of years...since that trip to
the mountains when she was still married to AJ. That has been
over a while...so whoa...

I need to stop it. It is like having ice cold beer in the
frig. After a while, I do not even want one anymore. I
can drink one beer now and my stomach feels bloated. Done.

I actually wanted to go to the pub last night. One of my
friends band was playing. Have not heard them in awhile.
But I was so tired....I did not last too much longer after
9:00 last night. When I finally got up this morning at
6:00am, I was up and ready for this day.

Got on FB to learn that the owner of the pub said last night
went well but someone who called themselves a friend stole
a fifth right off the bar. Caught on film. She told them
to never step foot in her bar or they will get a ass whooping.

OMG! I am so curious to whom that was. Wish I could pick them
out. LOL Sounds like she is pissed off. I mean who does that?

Oh, I almost forgot. Can not believe I did not post this first..
but I guess this goes to show that I am beginning to think less
and less concerned about the stalker. He sent me a message on
FB this morning. From the time, he must have actually sent
it sometime last night. I do not stay on there 24 / 7 like
so many do, but anyway, he mentioned the sweet looking new
profile photo and said it was of a sweet lady. HMMMMM?

LOL I am not responding to it. Just gonna let that go now.
He is clearly a stupid idoit who never takes hints, does not
give a shit that I obviously could not care any less. So,
I will let my actions show how I feel. No actions.

No response. Not even going to mention it to anyone. That
is how much I care about it. Okay, not everyone did not mean
you guys. You guys are more than everyone else. You guys are
my group therapy, you guys see things in different light than
me. You guys help lead me out of the darkness.


And out of the darkness I will walk. Starting tomorrow.

Get that class over with....

then, hopefully I will be able to show property to my beach
guy this week. I hope he can make it back. HE seems very
ready to get moved. I am looking forward to finding him
the most perfect house....and this will be my passion for
the next weeks. Unless of course he tells me different.

I am keeping my mind on business. I am keeping my mind
on my health. I will figure out a way to lose this weight.
I will figure out a way to deal with this hair....I am so
sick of this hair cut. I am really not sure what to do...

I would love to hair one of those cute little short cuts again.
But not at this weight. Those cuts look better on smaller
people. Nothing personal to any of you who may be sporting
one and are a large size. Like I mentioned before, some of
you ladies can carry extra weight and work it so good.

I just feel better as a size 12. Not 14. Surely not going
to allow myself to get any bigger. Fuck that. You been
through this with me before.

Lets figure this out.

One day at a time.

Worry more about this after tomorrow. I will have to pull myself
together in the morning....I will be on the road driving very
early...and I wish I was taking my car. I hate feeling trapped
at a location. I need to be able to run....to leave. Will
not have this choice tomorrow.


Although a cab on speed dial helps me deal.


I feel trapped sometimes too on mornings like this when I look
out the window to see that my son has his truck parked behind
my car. This makes me feel trapped. The way I deal is knowing I have keys to the old mans truck if I need too leave. I can.


later

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