Therapist

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2015-01-04 07:42:16 (UTC)

Scared shitless, geek freak

Wearing my leather men... With no class date made me feel old. Yeah old and not cool. Well thanks mom for not letting me get the class's date. What ever at least I got it.. Anyways. Today I went thrift shop. Shopping ?? Well yesterday, it's on I'm the freckling morning! School starts back up on Tuesday. I thought Monday but everyone one on Facebook might not come Monday and go Tuesday? Well I guess teachers go back Monday.

Well sent the application for my drivers testing package . I'm nervous. I am nervous . I feel like once I get my license Im totally free!!! Well, sort of. Have people with strict parents. What ever.

Anyways, I feel like this year is going to be my "mature" year, like grow up a bit. Yeah I might flunk a test but what ever, I'll past next time, or the next, and the next. What ever ill pass.. I just have to.

Well what else is new. Oh! Gabby broke up with Sam. Yeah that poor sweet guy. My best friend broke his heart.. Sad as this sounds, I feel more heartbroken than she is. I wanted them to last. Just a little bit deep inside I felt like seething was wrong. Well gabby feels pressured in high school parents and older siblings want her to fix her grades. What ever. Poor gabs . I really hope she knows what she's doing. Really do. Maybe she can focus on getting the pre-mint! With me!!! So we can both drive around like lunatics lol Just Kidding!!!
But anyways, yeah It would be nice just me and her alone shopping. With no babysitters. What's so ever! Oh well I get it she's the baby. I'm my parents baby too! But they have to let us grow up a bit. Just a TAD!!!

I think that's what gabby needs. A bit of freedom. Like. No babysitters . Like (Melissa or Freddie) or nieces(Angie) to look after her. She needs space. She's a teen of course shell have her bitchy moments she needs to breath! (I think)

Well she's in Mexico, right now. I hope she's doing good. She said she had time to think over there. About her and sammy .. Oh well. Best luck for Sam. But I get Gabbs point. She's to young for relationships. Oh well. Better luck next time. She needs to focus in school now.

School for me on the other hand! I am only getting one option here. Is to move out after high school to a university. Or! Stay here in this crappy town. (30 minute drive to local store) or explore? I think university. Even though writing is my weakness. It really is. First off I have really bad English teacher. Ms.cates she's old and nice but. Her old schooling right now really isn't helping. Omg. I don't even know where to even put proper (,) commas (did I speed it right).. And when to capitalize anywhere!! I tend to change topics every at graph. Is this EVEN A PARAGRAPH!?!?! I think not. Anyways. I don't know. I'm scared AGIAN, college in high school there really isn't important ony ACT AND SAT matter at this point I just need practice . Since I'm terrible test taker. I'm not dumb I'm just slower than other people. (Sometimes) I'm scared. I'm scared to go in a major I'd hate, dared that I'd stay a begin for ever. Scared of having a bunch of money to owe. DEBT!!!

Scared.. Would I even afford wifi anymore to type in this diary. Perhaps not. I'll wrote on graduation day 2016.. Right there. Is where I should be scared shitless.

Well that's enough I guess. Scared of failing . But something inside of me. Deep deep deep inside. Says I'm not going to fail.

Scared shitless,
Geekfreak




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