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2014-12-28 19:47:21 (UTC)

If words could kill, I'd spell out your name.

I don't know if was a good thing to have 3 days off or not. I keep thinking to myself the reason why I'm not over you and the way I feel is because after we split up, I threw myself into this career and ever since I've not really had free time.

So when I now have free time, it's as if we've just split up and I feel the way someone would if they'd just broken up with their partner. I feel like it's two years ago and I'm fucked up over our very recent break up.

The problem is that we haven't just broke up and that it's been two years of me not being able to go through these emotions.

That, or I am just fucked up and can't get over you. Either way what does it really matter? Whatever the actual thought process behind the way I feel, it doesn't even matter because I still wake up and ask myself what the fuck is the point.

I'm currently in the mind set that I should leave my job. Simply put, I feel like shit, like I'm in this limbo state of going no where. Sure, I'm getting a career and I love what I do, but I think that is the problem.

If I'm not at work I don't know what to do, I'm working over Christmas because I can't have days off, I can't be alone. It's a sad thought because I am alone.

I think I need help.

Won't you hide me, won't you hold my life? Let me have this time. Lie here while I close my eyes, hold me through this night.