My Letter To The World
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2014-12-22 22:57:46 (UTC)

Oxygen and Awkward sadness

Grandma got out of the hospital today and gave up smoking i hope it sticks this time, it needs to stick this time more than it did the other times.
anyways i'm proud of her for trying and i hope for her sake and ours that she stays strong and licks this addiction.

Rustys been found thank you God.
but on the sad end of it she has o get rid of her dogs and i know how sad that is goinng to be it's going to freakin suck but it's whats best, i'm glad she's keeping rocksy though she needs to keep one.

The guy with the oxygen finally showed up and got her set up, thank you God again, it went from 87 to 97 gosh...
theres a bit of awkwardness about the daily things...like i'm here and there like this thing in her where she feels like she needs to take care of me when i'm here to help her :) and i love her for it but she doesn't need to do anything and she does't have to entertain me.
i hope that awkwardness fades lol.

She's asleep right now she needed it i think, right now just moving around is taking alot out of her.
and thats where i come in.

I'm talking to jay right now, and i'm wishing that i was just a drive away from him so that i could be there.

same with Zoe, i wish i could be a bigger part of her life,i wish i could see Emily grow up, be a baby sitter be like family... it's so hard sometimes loving these people and wanting to be in more than one place at once, feeling like i should be in more than one place at once.
my heart right now is legit in 3 different continents different countries and different people.
MY hearts with Jay and Jade and their familys.
My hearts with Zoe and brad and Emily and their family.
and my heart is here with my family and friends.

Your heart will never be completely at home again because part of it will always be elsewhere Thats the price you pay for knowing and loving people in more than one place. and it's a brilliant, hard, amazing incredibly rewarding thing.

wow this entry took an odd subject change frpm it's original subject...oh well.

peace to the peoples out there.