bigboy2014

Future
2014-11-24 16:35:02 (UTC)

Hard to put my thoughts to words.....

Well, it was either yesterday or one of the last couple Sundays that a year ago we spent that Sunday evening talking at Starbucks. What followed was an awesome friendship but its seemingly ended with no real closure. I miss talking to you about sports, about life, laughing and spending time just getting to know you. What bums me out as much as anything is not having you to talk to, to hear about your life and share. I have a lot to say and have been trying to write it, lots of conflicted thoughts that go from happy to sad and sometimes at the same time. If/when I can figure out how to to put to words all my thoughts I need to if for nothing else...my own sanity (or whats left of it HAHA)


I wish I knew what was on your mind and going on in your life. What I really would like is not to be ignored and to know what has gone on in your mind or just simply tell me not to bother with this anymore. You asked for space and that space has become complete silence.

It’s really hard to put down all the things that have crossed my mind, or been on my mind especially the last week or two, and those feelings are only going to get stronger in the next month. I have tried to think about how to write, what to write, or if to write at all. My phone calls over the last week had to do with information I needed ASAP from you for a tournament that I spent a lot of hours on bracketing, ranking and now scheduling. Other coaches I can reach out to the normal way, but you I can’t. A lot of thought goes into the process and almost everybody else is just numbers on a screen but for some reason, even though you won’t answer me I feel this desire to give your teams preferences that I am not giving others.

This is a bunch of rambling nonsense it seems like because there are parts I have written and deleted several times LOL




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