Valeria

Only thoughts.
2014-11-24 03:03:06 (UTC)

My november in a nutshell.

It seems to me a very long time I haven’t came here and write diary. I have pretty many activities lately. And I can feel that I’m getting better, I’m no longer get depressed so much like before. But sometimes I still feel inferior and sad. Sometimes I still feel like everything out of my control.. Something is still lack.. But anyway everything is much better than 1 year ago. At least, I’m not so annoyed being outdoor, being socialize, and stuffs. It’s great cause I always want to experience everything I haven’t had the chance to do, or I wasn’t dare to do…

So I will write out here those activity I did lately. I bet they will be very boring to you cause it’s not about my love life(my love life? Actually I have never had one... or anything that you’d like so..), but about something that a shy girl just try to do, yeah, everything which are actually not so special to a normal girl..

So, first event? Maybe the tour guide, well, I didn’t guide or make any presentation to traveler.. Cause I didn’t prepare any podcast or documentary. But I had some times to talk with the foreigners, had fun with other members, although I can say I was very quiet when it came to the group discussion, I can only truly express myself if I talk one-on-one or a two-three people a group, that morning was a good experience to me.

Second, I went to an English test, k, nothing much has happened. I did the test, they told me my E is good, I need to take the ielts practice now cause I might forget many English knowledge if I don’t practice E and take the advantage to join the exam. It was good hearing compliments but I know that I’m still at intermediate level, and have to try more. I visited my mother’s place right after that.

Third, I went to the training meeting in an evening. It was a good time but a bit awkward to me. Some boys just looked at me? I thought I was just imagine, I don’t know. Maybe I was just imagine everything. Cause I’m not that pretty. Ok. And at the end, I had this terrify but yet interesting experience. I was wandering at a place very far from home and I didn’t even know how to come back home, cause all the bus had its last routes. Luckily I had this friend, a absolutely new friend, but I don’t have any contact to her now, went along with me. If I was alone at that time, I bet I would be terrified and crying at the middle of the road. Hell no, I will ask people around and find a closest bus station, but because I was the reason make her lost contact with her new friends so I thought I should follow her. Or I was just following her cause I don’t know what else to do? >.<! We walked all the way from the secondary school to the large road to find a bus stop but we (exactly it’s me )didn’t even know what is the right direction to come home. Shit. And I was so hungry that my tummy was aching. She always swore, I guess she was so angry at the new friends she met. They left her there. Finally we found a bus stop but nearly there was no bus is coming. I had to ask her all the way, shit, what a shame. Then there is this motorbiker stopped by and ask us, we split money and he drove her and I to the bus station. I was about to ask my father to come to pick me up, oh, but luckily I caught the last bus of the day. So my father, was driving to my place, had to come back, luckily he didn’t go so far from his company..phew. I feel so sorry.. then from the bus, I stepped down then walked the entire rest way to my home. Then, came back home safely, I had the feeling that no where is warmer, nicer than my house, lolz. Gosh, it was so tired but interesting though. Although it bothers me but I’m not regret that I came to the training meeting.

Well, I guess that’s all what I join and I feel a bit regret that I didn’t experience more... in such a long time, 1 month, just a few things happens, right? Next month, I will have so many exams, I don’t know if I could have anything interesting? Well, off for now.

P/s: lately, I have had some stresses cause of my sister, I and her always crawl, shit, I could say well, maybe I’m not so nice but she is just so mean, and my mother told me, I should be quiet even when she scold me, insult me, and many other bitchy things. Cause she is crazy and I shouldn’t be pissed off because of that. My mother is tired of hearing me and her crawl all the day. Well, don’t I feel tired? I just want to stay away from my sister.

I have my birthday on this month. I didn’t celebrate, though. Seems like not much people care, though. Should I be sad? No, cause I’m get used to it, I can say I remember all people birthday, but seems like no one actually remember mine. You can say I’m that lonely person.




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