Screened In Porch

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2014-11-17 16:04:22 (UTC)

Rainy Mondays always bring me down...

The business part of the morning is handled. I have some more
organizing to do as I feel like it. I had to get organized
to organized. LOL

So, last night when I discussed the plan and when the plan will
begin with him, he come up with several more reasons to why
to change my plan, and not to this right now; he even told
me he did not want me to have vinyl siding installed on
the house. Why? It will cost too much....how much money do
you think you are going to have? LOL What he does not realize
is I already have enough money to do it. Just need to know what
his schedule of these so called remodeling plans are so I will
know when to schedule it. But he said he was planning on
having the house painted. Oh great. So, I supposed that means
that instead of having a neat clean looking medium grey home
with white shutters, I am going to have a lime or dark green
spray painted house with God only knows what else. I do not
want the brick crawl space area painted. It is red brick,
you do not see it much anymore cause everyone paints it.
I like it. And he knows that I have been talking about this
for a while now and not once has he stopped me and said he
would rather paint it.

Well, guess what guys? GUESS FUCKING WHAT?

So I will not get the sliding put on....I will just
save it by adding it to what I already have...and I will
live in this dump as long as I have too in order to
save more....and more.....he does not have to know
jack shit about how much money I have. I will just
continue to work...to save and plan my fucking
escape from this madness.

He also absolutely has no intentions of doing any fucking
thing that I wanted. I told him I wanted access to my
office from my bedroom. NO OTHER DOORS! I want a place
to do my business, to rest, to live here in peace without
interruptions. I can not do that the way it is set up
now.

This very minute, I am using the desktop in the kitchen area
while I make this post. I can hear his TV in his den which
will become his bedroom/ or would if he ever started the work...
I can hear it loudly....I can see his shadow as he walks around
right behind me in the kitchen when he is in and out of here...

Not a good environment to think to do business or to be
content. There is enough room to build a very large
linen storage closet where he wants to add a door into
my office....it makes no sense. Just another door he
can come into suddenly to scare me...spy on me...or why
ever he insist on doing that. Sometimes I have to
lock my bedroom door just to rest...he will open the door
real fast making a lot of noise on purpose. Sometimes
I feel he is hoping to catch me masturbating or something.
Not that he ever will. My sex life is private.
VERY PRIVATE....non existence it is so fucking private.

He will open the door suddenly....stick his head in the
door....just to ask me how I am, or shit. I am miserable
MUTHER FUCKER....I AM MISERABLE! How about that for a
god damn answer. Never say that....but if I did, it would
turn into an argument....I will be accused of nagging...

I already know that I will have to pitch a royal fit to
get this shit done around here. Guess what? That an't
happening.
I am not pitching any fits....
I may pitch a tent somewhere....

But no, I will not waste my funds on trying to help
with this. All I want is to live somewhere that I
am not embarrassed to bring people or invite people.
Is that too much to ask? Especially when it was his
idea to buy this junky place in the first place with
the promise that we will remodel as we go.

The only damn thing that has been done here he did
for himself. He built some very nice cabinets for his
records and CD and VCR collections. I had Princess
house Crystal that I had no where to put, but he had
every CD, MOVIE and a bunch of books he never looks
at in a very nice bookshelf...and I mean real nice.

What did I get?

NOTHING!

He was supposed to build me a studio for my music and
art. Did I get that?

HELL NO.

Instead he build a 16X24 building to store his pile of junk...
and instead of making room in that building for a workshop,
he wanted to build on to it. I told him hell no you have
room in there and in the garage for your workshop....
and he made room in that building for a work table and place
to hang his tools. But the garage is still a mess.
I can barely get my fucking car in it.

When he met me....I was renting a house for myself and
two kids. There was a place for everything I had. I knew
where everything I had was. If I needed a hammer, I went
to that place to get my hammer. If I needed a calendar,
I had a place for that. I knew where my plates, pots,
coats, shoes linens etc were all at because I was organized.
NOT CLUTTERED.....

I would get rid of crap that I never used and clear out
closets for more room....so things would not be crammed
inside of them so bad that you have to take things out
just to search for what you need.

I am not going to live like this.

I am sick of being ignored.
I am sick of being lied too.

I am sick of smelling the nasty sofa he practically lives on....
I am sick of his jammed packed pantries with nothing at all
to eat in them....he keeps them packed with crap no one
eats but him.

He is so fucking selfish.

I am beginning to hate his sorry old fart ass.

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