My Letter To The World
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2014-11-16 04:57:55 (UTC)


Today had been so filled with bouts of confidence and bouts of fear.
i can't decide which i'm feeling more of...?
Today has been long but not bad.
Watched T and E as usual.
Didn't talk to Jay though, i hope he's okay i hope he and Jade both are okay, they deserve some.... Time where nothings going wrong.
Wow i can't believe i've known Jay almost a year thats crazy time flys.
Its still so odd my finding his penpal add on a sight i never use/used.
but i'm really glad. I think its a God thing to be honest i needed a good friend to talk to at the time and i got one.
I hope i've been a good enough friend and given as much as he's given me with his friendship.
He's one of the few, one of the rare thats for sure.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow, i want to talk with Larayne and Candice and maybe James.
I'll have to talk with Kay which i'm kinds nervous about tbh i hate asking people to do anything.... ahhh.
anyways the planning for mom and dads 30th is going well i have sent invations and i'll give out personally the rest tomorrow, i have decorations and i hope it goes well and they like it. figers crossed
God knows they deserve more than i can give. unfortunately.

i think i may be a bit obsessive with music, because i can litterally sit and listen to the same sing on repeat for who knows how long, if the song suits my mood.
the current song is "Even angels fall" by Jessica Riddle.
i'm totally going to be hearing this song in my sleep tonight with how many times i've listened to it. hmmm.

Lets see any other randomness from my day?
well Twisters been talking to me, spesifically seeking me out and texting me starting conversations... i'm being nice i'm being encouraging and i'm hoping he's just being nice too but i still have my guard up, it twister, with his switching moods and wildfire lies and Word traps....
yeah...just having common sense with compassion. and i think thats the key.
whats weird and kind of scary to me is i can see quite a few similaritys with some of the things he's said about some stuff and my privite unspoken thoughts about the same stuff.
we are kind of dealing with similar things yet i'd never say so because who wants to hear "i know how you feel" definately not twister.
but it freaks me out that we think the same way about some things... because i don't want to have things in common with Twister, we are so different anyway.
our personalitys Clash and Twister has Infuriated me on a regular basis... but i guess anybody can find some common ground with anybody if they really looked at a person and tried, i have, not sure i should have, not sure i want to continue to... but whats been dome has been done. anyways i'm going to try for sleep.