Screened In Porch

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2014-11-06 14:38:34 (UTC)

Ups and downs of a daughter mother relationship

Well, it has been a while since I heard from her. She never
updates me or the boss in fact when she has a new listing
or something goes under contract or other details that she
is at least required to inform him.

I had told her during our last conversation that was so long
ago I can not recall how long it was that I did get this
computer and at that time, I had put it back in the box,
and was not happy with it. I was trying to decide if I
should return it when I realized that I do not get a
refund, instead I would get a credit to purchase other items.
This is something about he Home Shopping Network that you
as a reader of this diary should make a note of. Just in
case it comes up in your world.

I had told her that I had already paid for it...so she knew
that, she also knew that it was not coming on at the time
like I thought it should so she knew or should have known
that it was not working properly.

So...a couple days ago she post photos of my middle granddaughter
getting braces. This is the granddaughter that I had to
pull her older sister off of when I caught her beating her
ass punching her in the face with her fist...really hard too!
That happened a couple years back. At that time, I brought
it up to my daughter letting her know that I thought the middle
one was getting abused by the older one and she needed to
put a stop to it.

It was during that time that she started pulling away.....from
me. I figured she was working on them or at least that is
what I was hoping. It worried me that the middle granddaughter
was not being treated as well as the others. AS she is the
one who resembles me.....instead of having dark hair and dark
eyes, her hair was lighter and her eyes a light brown..
goldish in color just like mine. I think I thought maybe
that at that time that I was the one who was not thought well
of and since she looked more like me she was the one over
there getting the hard end of everything. I was hurt by
this thought and tried to not believe it. I honestly still
do not know if any of my concerns were true, it was just
a mothers instinct thing.

But when you see this happening before your eyes and the
result of the oldest ones response.....turning on me
instead screaming that she hates me and always has....etc
etc....that had to come from somewhere. I was thinking
maybe it was coming from her mother, my daughter. Some
deep seeded resentment buried inside of her.

No, she was not raised in a foster home...like me. But could
she be blaming me that she too has no close blood relatives
much like me? Her dad died early on and there was a situation.
He was separated when I got pregnant. He went back to his
wife before my daughter was born. Although they ended up
separating and divorcing soon after he had another daughter
with her, my daughters half sister; we never made that
contact....he came around then once and a while, but it
was clear he was intimidated by his ex and did not want
anyone knowing that he was coming to visit our daughter.
He did want his mother to meet her and he wanted his
other daughter to also have a relationship with her.
However....he was killed before any of that happened.

His ex made it every hard to complete any of that...
she was close and always being ugly. I did not want
to take any chances that my daughter would be mistreated
by any of them....so I stayed out of it. Hell,
that woman tried to run me down with her car when
I was pregnant, and her cousin jumped on me
when I was pregnant....no, I was not taking any
chances being anywhere near her....

Could my daughter be bitter about all that now?
Does she wish that I had tried harder? She does
not realize that I did try. I did. I can not even
post here some of the crap that family did to me....
they were dangerous.

As hard as it was to raise her on my own...with no family
of my own to count on for assistance or guidance....

If so, she clearly does not realize the extend or the full
details and I can not change the past. I can only as always
do the best I can do, which I have. I have always adored her
to the fullest and put her on a pedestal. But now....

things have changed.

I am thinking she text me last night saying that she wanted
to give the this laptop to my middle granddaughter
because she did not care that I had said it did not
work....properly. A quick fix to satisfy getting a
gift for her that looks good in the box....and if it
does not work...well it came from your grandmother...so
deal with her about that...huh?

I may have surprised her when I told her how much I had
to pay for it, how much it is worth and asked her
if she wanted to buy it from me? I told her to think
about it...and let me know.

She said she had the condo under contract and has listed
that property that expired recently....but that was it.

No more responses about the laptop...even though I did
tell her that it is working well now...and I have been
using it.

I do not really want her to have it.

If my granddaughter wants a laptop for Christmas, I would
buy her one.

Not sure how this will play out....

but I will not be taken advantage of anymore by
my daughter who clearly has no respect for me....

She has not apologized.....
must have no conscious at all about how I am
treated.

I never hear from her.

EvEr....unless she needs something.

But her asking for this laptop to give my middle granddaughter
for Christmas after being told it does not work good....

that was a unexpected clue to what is really going
on.....over there anyway.

In time, if I live long enough, my granddaughter will
have a place to live.....she will always have me...
if she can survive whatever she may be going through now....

I am not sure...

but you never know.

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