Screened In Porch

Life in general
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2014-08-30 02:27:46 (UTC)

Struggles Blowing Smoke

So, I took the I Pad back yesterday and had them put that
money back on my card. Of course they wanted me to look
at some better ones. I decided to pass this time. I will
wait and see what the girls are using. Surely there is one
out there that will last more than one day before it dies.

On my way to the showing yesterday, my chest began to ache.
It was scary. I was praying to live long enough to make it
the showing as I do not like to disappoint. Then I decided
to throw my cigarettes into the very back of my car. I
drive an HHR, so getting to them now would have required
pulling over and opening the back gate door to find them.

I began praying for the strength to give it up. This
smoking is such a bad habit and I take it so far. What
a crutch it has become. I hate it. Expensive too. Plus
I feel like crap. So, I was talking to God and anyone else
who would listen to help me. Give me the strength to rise
above the urge to lite one up again. I am ready to quit.
Of course I promised to be good, do good things and to
forgive people. I know God likes us to forgive. So, I
said the names out loud, I FORGAVE EVERYONE....just let
it go. After a while, the pain eased up. I was riding
around for a while. By the time I got to the house to
show this couple, it had been 3 hours since that last one.
I was doing it this time. I knew it. I could feel it
all the way to my bones.

Here I sit tonight at almost 10:30 pm. I have not lite one
up all day. Trying to keep my promise to God and to myself.
I do not want to let anyone down. Even myself.

It was a bit harder today to stay on track. But I suppose
tomorrow will be easier.

Today, I mopped the kitchen, washed a bunch of clothes
including the throw rugs. I did not leave the house.
Just stayed home.

My daughter and I have been asked to do a photo shoot
for a girl who is filming a commercial. Not sure where
it will be, but she wants background shots. The Rebel
is working pretty good. I still like the Nikon myself.
I saw one at Best buy that cost almost 900 bucks...
and even it did not have an additional lens as good as
that Rebel. She is really enjoying it.

I am giving it too her for her birthday. She has no
idea. But she will be so Saturday.


Smoke free