MyBlog0563

(almost) Daily Blather
2014-08-20 06:00:08 (UTC)

Simplify

Had my every two week therapy appointment yesterday. Went as most typically do. We spend the first 30-40 minutes talking about the weather, what it was like back when the therapist was a kid, etc. Just general stuff, I would assume to get me to relax a bit and get the ball rolling.

I usually have something I would love to get off my chest but don't want to go in there and just start in. I guess to me that feels like I would not be seelking theraputic help, but instead just using my session as a place to bitch and complain.

Like I said, the session went on like they typically do. Well, when I finally started talking about how I was feeling the theme ran along in a way I wasn't fully expecting. Yes, I was having some issues with the wife. Not major ones, but more like I stll feel on the outside. But mainly I was in a general funk for at least the last couple of days, or probably more like a few months.

At home I feel like I am not really a part of any of it and I have been dealing with that by basically not giving a shit what she wants, does, or behaves. I just let it flow. Not worth getting my panties in a wad.

At work I am also starting to feel like my "give a shit" is depleted. It seems that is the general feeling around the entire place and it is starting to rub off on me. Why should I give a shit when no one else seems to.

My job is partially to be a change agent, to be the cheerleader for the program I work on. But when you gent 95% resistance from the people you are supporting and pretty much 0% support form those who are to support you...it gets harder and harder to bring the pom-pons out (speaking figuratively of course).

In my session I have been bringing up how the human race is losing basic skills that most people had, it was just a pat of life. Things like how to start a fire without a zippo lighter, how to harness up a horse,how to chop wood, how to fish (without all of the special designed mega lures). Simple things. THings that no one really gave a thought to, because they all did it.

I also brought up that it had occured to me that even if someone wanted to just get away for a few days to a week, head off into the wilderness to set up a camp and just reset/recharge the batteries...where can you go? You can't just go along and then be like"hey, I will just hike through here and set up camp a mile or two in. Why? Because that land is owned by someone, you would be trespassing. The best you could do would be to go to government owned land...pay admission, stay in the designated camping areas, sit amongst all of the other people that think they are roughing it. when in actuality all they have done is take a small chunk of their "city" life and transplanted it into an established camp ground so that they can be with other people that did the same thing and call that camping.

Camping, to me, is more that just setting up a tent (or RV) and building a fire in your Coleman stove for two to three days...and in that time doing nothing but drinking and skiing.

I am thinking I need to just get away from all the hustle and bustle of modern life, even if it is just for a few days. Problem is...I have to be home to hel;p give my dog his insulin, I am my wife's only form of transportation, and I have to be in the vacinity of electricity because I have sleep apnea and am using a C-Pap machine.

I seem to know what I need, but also seem to know why it ain't gonna happen any time soon. And I think THAT is the cause of my general funk. I need to figure out a way to simplify my life.




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