[no one cares]

Music 4 Life
2014-07-29 05:37:48 (UTC)

The Last Night

everyday I am closer and closer to picking up the razor again. I just don't want to deal with my parents asking about it. or people finding out about it. I don't know why I feel the need to go back to it. it relaxed me. not sure why splitting my skin open made me feel better but I miss it. I haven't found another good release like that. it is taking more and more to not start up again and I am scared I am going to give in one of these nights. I don't have anybody to talk to about this anymore. so hopefully writing it down and getting it off my chest will help.

I feel like I am never going to be good enough for anyone. no guy has ever made me feel like I was anybody. I always got used and I don't even know how a guy should treat me. I push most of the nice good guys away because I don't know how to act.

I am broken. I am not sure if I will ever be "fixed" or feel like I matter. I just get pushed around and I am too scared to stand up for myself.

I love Skillet. How I can relate to them and realize I am not alone.

"You come to me with scars on your wrist, you tell me this will be the last night feeling like this."
"I just came to say goodbye, didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine. but I know its a lie"




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