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2014-05-15 05:45:31 (UTC)

I feel so used because of you.

I've been meaning to write for awhile now, I guess I just haven't seen the point. I kinda wake up, think about shit and before I know it I need to start getting ready for work.

So anyway, my friend at work no longer works there due to some bird, GM, putting a complaint in about him, which is bullshit as she's clearly a fuck up and played him and fucked with his head. I'm sure there's more to it than that, but I'll be damned if I know.

So anyway, I was out the other week drinking, like every fucking weekend. GM was out and we got talking and it ended with her kissing me because of how much she drank. A week goes by and I had this master plan to get this guy his job back, however, it ended up as more of a thought that I never acted on.

The only thing I did act on is getting this girl round mine to drink whiskey, which ended up with her staying the night.

She left the next morning saying 'I had fun' and kissed me once and then turned her head. Unfortunately I'm apparently a fucking tool, so now I have feelings for this girl. The best thing is, she's a massive headfuck.

She 'apparently' slipped getting out if the bath once she got back to hers and hit her head. She was at A&E for 3 hours, apparently can't remember anything that happened the night she stayed at mine, or anything about the day building up to mine up to her hitting her head. Yet she was let out after 3 hours considering she had a major concussion, I call bullshit.

The week up to that night we'd literally talk for 5 hours after work every night and now we don't even talk. Well, I guess we both got laid, the thing that hurts the most is that I know it's all bullshit. I see her at work now and she's so fucking awkward around me. She clearly remembers what happened, she clearly knows what we did.

Why do I constantly find myself fucking girls who are so fucked up and then find myself fucking wanting them.

I want her back in my bed, I want to wake up with my arms around her and her feeling me through my boxers, her hands all over me whispering 'fuck me' again. I can't stop thinking about you, I don't know how I'm going to get you in my bed again.

I wish I could have quit you, I wish I never missed you and told you that I loved you every time I fucked you.