MyBlog0563

(almost) Daily Blather
2014-03-19 06:57:37 (UTC)

Good session

Yesterday I had a good session with my therapist. Much of the same stuff was brought up, but there was a bit of a different light on a bit of it.

A main topic was my wife having to control everything...we are coming to the conclusion that due to my wife's anxieties, real or imaginary, here tried and true method for control is to alway fall back on the line "we can't afford that".

When I wanted to sign up for the retirement investment plan at work...We can't afford that. (if I had signed up I would most likely have well over $100,000 in the account. Instead, I joined many years later without consulting her...I have a whopping $2000 in the account)

When I wanted to visit my grandparents so they could meet my children for the first time, we can't afford that. (they both passed away many years later, still having never met my children.)

The list goes on and on.

Granted, I am not rich by any means. But I also shouldn't be hurting. ANy time I try to bring up money, she gets very defensive...accounts for every cent...and turns it onto me, that I need to cut out things like she has.

The only money I ever spend is the money she instructs me to spend. I never spend more than a few dollars without consulting her.

She goes on about the outrageous expense my truck is...It was given to me free by her father. The only expense is the "no-fault" insurance and registration. Another thing she rags about is my motorcycle. That was paid for, in cash, from the sale of stock that my company issued when we were bought out. So the only ongoing expense for this too was just insurance and tags.

But then when we needed to replace out entire HVAC system in the house, upgrading it to actually what the house required she was thankful that I had that motorcycle...we were able to use it as collateral for the loan.

But then after that she bitched about us having a bike payment...it isn't a bike payment, it is a HVAC loan payment.

I could probably spend all day writing in here on how she handles our money and how I should have held onto the reins many years ago in regards to our finances but no one wants to hear that, not even me.





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