rainy

My heart in a knot
2014-02-03 00:52:09 (UTC)

Religion 1

So I had to come and write about this. I'm so distraught and my emotions are running high.

I want to say that I'm going to write this in two parts, I'm only writing now in hopes that writing about it will help get met to sleep instead of laying awake until morning.

Secondly I feel the need to put a disclaimer since I've come to find that religion is a very touchy subject for just about everyone, I should also say that I don't have any formal education in religious studies however I'm considering it now.


So I'm going to start here. I was having a conversation, I went into this conversation very blindly, I wanted to get to know this person for my "person a month" project little did I know what I found out would change my views on people completely.

She basically turned out to be what they call a "jehova (sp) witness". I honestly didn't know much about that religious practice and although I had heard about them (they have a presences in this area), I didn't think anything of them besides that they seem fairly mysterious.


This girl is young. 22 actually. She has been completely gripped by this religion and follows it to it's very core. This was my very first time being exposed to someone speaking about it.


She was mysterious before, which is why I had chosen her, on the one hand I want to be well cultured and know of the various beliefs of everyone, however nothing could have prepared me for her. nothing.


I'm deciding not to use her real name here, I'll just refer to her as ms witness. Firstly, she was mysterious, although she first appeared very extroverted I started to see trends. She socialized with just about everyone, however just like her religion teaches she avoids a handful of people. She's very selective with who she talks to outside of everyday small talk.


The second thing I noticed was around the holidays her expression was very vague and unresponsive, even at the time I didn't know she didn't celebrate holidays but I could tell she wasn't into it. I realized after talking to her that I'm sure she was ingrained to this at a very early age and her religious upbringing was a lot stronger then mines, I'd even say to the point she strikes me as an extremest.


Don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong with people who don't celebrate holidays or birthdays, in fact I think it's great to be free from things like that. I also feel I need to mention that I do respect other people's beliefs and cultures. But I have to honestly say I think the witnesses go a bit overboard.


The third thing I noticed about her (when I was around her) was that she's not like many of the stereotypical women her age in our area.. basically she stood out, far more then a hipster would or anyone else. It was something I had never experienced before. I feel like I don't even have the right words to explain it.


Sometimes when looking at her it's like her brain is separate from her body, her mind frame seems slightly robotic. Some might confuse it with schizophrenia.

Anyway, I think I should get on to the actual conversation now.


It started as I probed for more info and asked about religion. She explained her mom who is also a witness and her dad who follows another religion.


I then asked her what she identified most with and she said as a J witness. Then she went on to talk about having specific beliefs which I asked her to elaborate on.


The first thing she told me is that she doesn't vote, or "place her trust in man", then she explained how she doesn't celebrate holidays or her birthday. She also mentioned that she doesn't go out much and that not a lot of people know her.


Anyway, she then said she doesn't believe in abortions (which honestly struck a nerve with me because I can get passionate about abortions) and she doesn't agree with same-sex marriages either. Of course I asked her why and she explained that the baby didn't choose to be conceived, and I'm sure many pro-life people will say that same thing.


I have had to learn to think critically and hear both sides of the story, it's also hard to accept something when it's different from what you believe. It turns out that a lot of what she believes is the opposite of what I believe.


She then went on to explain how babies can instead be placed in "foster homes" (of which I know first hand about), which is the biggest reason why I think it's important to allow abortions because unwanted babies suffer, when women are not prepared or have the means to raise a child then the child suffers. There is cellular reproduction then there is religion and I believe the two should be separate. I don't think there is anything wrong with religious people telling people to abstain from sex, in fact I wish our culture would completely get rid of recreational sex. I'm also all for banning porn, but religious people never attack that, I guess abortions and same-sex marriage are the easiest to attack so they choose that first.

I hope I am not coming off right now as anti-religion, I'm really just frustrated when I hear religious people talking about "sin"..and how things should be, but still there are millions of people world wide who are suffering. Not only that but each religion wants to be "right", why can't religion be about peace and only peace? why can't it be completely good? why does religion have to leave so many people out?

There are certain topics I constantly hear religious people bashing, like abortion and same-sex marriage, however I feel porn, rapes, and other sexual violence should be targeted with such passion as abortion and same-sex marriage. And what about starving people? what about all the injustices in the world? why doesn't religion fix that?


So back to my story, I asked her these things... I asked her if she was out doing any good for the world, I wanted to know if she truly cared about that baby she wants to save from abortion, and her reply was that "you can't be a super hero".


All of her thoughts and opinions were religiously based, nothing had any objective or scientific meaning. I'm trying really hard now not to come off as me bashing religion, my issue is not religion, my issue is how it's administered and the people within the religion.


My thing is that I love the brain, I feel like all the answers to everything lies within our brain. We are born into religion. Sure we can change our religion as we age or just change our beliefs, but the fact remains we are born into religion and culture. It's almost like a popularity contest as to which religion can get the most people.


I've heard the quote "my religion is to do good", I like that. It's very basic, it doesn't tell people who they are or what they need to think and feel. I just feel like this girl has been taught what to think and feel, it was like she had no mind of her own. Like a zombie. I won't lie I felt an intense sadness, not because she's religious but because she doesn't seem to know she can think for herself.


Like I mentioned, I'm not a scholar on religion and everything I've said has been completely subjective but I think the central point of religion is to create order, it also gives people something to believe in, a goal and purpose for their life. I think religion (in theory) is good, but I think people need to revise the way they approach religion.


Sometimes I come across things or hear horror stories in the news and I wish that religion were working to fix those problems, but the problem is that religion can't seem to fix things like schizophrenia, we need science.


I'm about to end this because I want to try to get some sleep and my battery is dying. But I want to clarify that I was also raised religiously, I cannot help that. But as I grew up I was allowed to learn and stretch my mind around different ideas and concepts, this is why at one point Islam sounded very interesting to me. But most importantly I learned to think for myself... I didn't decide that I was going to be against abortions and same-sex marriage just because religion says it's wrong. I think it's wrong to control people's minds, if the religion is good people will follow it, no need to force it.


On another last note, I hope I didn't paint a bad picture of this girl, even to an extent my vision of her is completely subjective. I'm trying hard not to judge and to carry something positive away from this new exposure. I won't lie it's hard, I have a mix of anger and frustration and it's all so complex.


until next time...


also sorry about my spelling mistakes and grammar.





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