Marlon Brazilian

Somewhere in Brazil
2013-11-12 15:55:39 (UTC)

Reflection! If something EVER happens...

I have said that so many times but that's how I feel, I can't explain why, I always end up feeling this way, left out!

DO you know that feeling? The feeling that you don't belong to the place where you are, where you live? So I feel this so much lately.
I can't deny I can't wait to start everything over, I can't wait to finish highschool and go to São Paulo, it's gonna be like a new beginning, a new life. I am tired of this, I am tred of everybody, this air around me feels like a cage.

People say I have changed and yeah maybe I really have. Looking back on the past I have to admit I'm not exactly the same Marlon I used to be a few years ago. I don't know if I have changed for the worse though, (probably no)
I feel so freaking tired of people around me, of my friends, of my classmates, of MYSELF. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying I hate everybody, I am saying that I need a change in my life, and surely this change is near and I barely can wait for it.

I spend my days watching life slip by from my window, I spend my days watching the trees lose and get new leaves, I spend my days watching the rain fall outside, I spend my days watching the sunny landscape outside, see? I just spend my days while life goes by and I feel as if it were slipping through my fingers and I couldn't do anything to stop it from getting away from me.
I dream of new days though, I dream of a new life that (maybe) soon I will have, I dream of one day meeting new people, people that will fill this void that I feel inside. As a friend of mine said ''I dream of someday living''.

I am not complaining about my life so far at all, I couldnt even complain about it because there's nothing much worry with it.

While I sit here I think of the life I perhaps will live someday. As I sit here I reflect on everything I have lived so far.


I am not sure why I am writing this but I just feel like I should. If someone ever reads it, they'll know that I am not so futile as I seem to be. If something ever happens to me, maybe someone will one day read these lines and discover that I'm more than this futile boy, they'll know that I had dreams, feeling and fears.





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