rainy

My heart in a knot
2013-07-19 14:24:33 (UTC)

offline..

So I'll be offline for a while. It might not even really be significantly long since I have a class soon, but I will be online less which I guess is a good thing.. I'm not making any more money then usual so I doubt I will be able to pay my own way.


I'm just here trying to understand what happened to all the cheap phone plans, it seems like now you can't even get a cheap $20 every 90 days plan anymore which is really frustrating since I can't even afford the $20 a month plan because it eats away at too much of my budget. I guess now I'll have to find an alternative. I'm only looking for a plan so I can have an active phone on for job interviews which won't require a lot of minutes.


Things at work are getting shaky again, we had this meeting and it didn't go well, so I honestly don't know how much longer I'll be there.. I'm thinking by the end of this year I will have found a new job and can easily transition to that job and leave my current one. I just have 2 more weeks of working my "part-time" hours which will go into even more of part-time as soon as the semester starts.. I haven't yet figured all of my financial issues out but I realize that I need to not focus on worrying and focus on doing my best to make it.


I also realized that I've kind of gotten wrapped up in my own "drama" and now I need to figure out how to best ignore it and move along. I guess in about 3 weeks I'll be so into my course work that I will hopefully be able to filter out the negative things in my life and hopefully learn a lesson.

I had wanted to come here to write an entry about how I need to learn to love myself and stop lying about attributes I don't have in order to get ahead... I really have gotten deep into becoming someone I'm not in order to please other people and get what I want.. of course I need to be myself... I guess that's the best.. even if I have issues with who I am..

I also wanted to come write more about how I was raised and how I think things could have gone better for me if my parents would of not allowed us to watch so much TV and become absent minded.. I also wanted to talk about adoption more and why people shouldn't adopt because they feel they are doing a noble "service" to the adoptee. I've been thinking lately that although I feel my parents would never say this to us but I think they truly regret adopting us.. but they didn't want to back out and have people look at them funny... I guess back then they didn't have the best counseling for adoptive parents.. and so many people were adopting out of the name of religion, or religious duty...


Well.. I won't be online tomorrow.. who knows what I'll get done now that I have less detraction.. I guess I'll figure something out.




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