rainy

My heart in a knot
2013-05-11 21:24:20 (UTC)

mothers...day...

Tomorrow is mothers day. I don't really have any money to get my mom something, or something fancy like I've been seeing other people doing.


I do however plan on going out to an craft store and seeing if I can find something unique she might like..


We really have a terrible relationship however I feel sorry for her. I know she wanted her own biological children but during their time the technology wasn't there. The most I can do is try and make her feel special like all the other moms on this day, and maybe it will make our relationship seem normal, even though we know it's not.

While I'm on the topic of faulty relationships some children have with their birth mothers I want to mention I found a video of 3 adopted children on youtube, they had disabilities and came from different countries. One little girl's mom was a drug addict, however she seemed happy but I don't doubt it's because she's young and doesn't understand.


I think most adopted children who were given up because of neglect or mistreatment start off very forgiving but as they get older and understand things clearer they can become harder and less forgiving. That's a bit like me.

Anyway I was going to talk about these girls life, I mean I don't know them, but I see their situation, their parents either couldn't or wouldn't care for them.. and there are millions of children in similar situations.

I openly admit I have a lot of emotional problems regarding mothers day and what it means to me. I wish I didn't have these problems but from my understanding I'm not alone. I use to think my faulty relationship with my adoptive parents was exclusive to me, but I've read other people's stories and some are even worst, some claim to even "hate" the fact they were adopted..


I'm grateful to have been adopted but I'll admit my parents have not been emotionally supportive... sometimes I just wish we could be stronger but it feels difficult to get close to them on that level, and I don't know why.

Well, I'm off work tomorrow- I don't go back for a while, I keep thinking about poverty and how I'm going to get out of this, I just want to be doing the things scientist and doctors are doing... I want to be apart of the real world and not just this poor world where everyday is miserable.




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