LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
2013-01-24 18:49:46 (UTC)

I am a human lump

January 24, 2013 Thursday 6:51 PM

"Helena" by My Chemical Romance

So long and goodnight so long and goodnight so long and goodnight so long and goodnight so long and goodnight so long and goodnight so long and goodnight so long and goodnight so long and goodnight so long and goodnight so long and goodnight so long and goodnight.

This is emptiness.

Miss Obnoxious Face (aka my therapist) tried to talk to me again today. She asked me if I had cut since I saw her last week. I lied and said no, when in fact I had done it the night before, trying to see if I could go as deep as I had the friday before last. Turns out, i can. I just wish it bled more.

She's sooo...well, she treats younger kids. i don't think she has other patients who are my age. She is really awkward about cutting and depression. She has shifty eyes and tenses up and swallows before she says, "um cutting is bad for you"

Like yeah. I'm not a stupid girl. Everything I do, I do BECAUSE it's bad for me. What if I get AIDS? My honest to god feeling towards that is nothing. Nada. Zilch.

So do not go to my therapist. She sucks.

I'm going to a new one, because my mom found one. God, both my parents are crazy, no wonder my mom was worried I had manic depression. Maybe I do. maybe I don't.
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

Oh, and hey MissSnarkling, i shall write back soon but maybe not now so that I don't say something stupid because I am not in a good mood.

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So long and goodnight so long and goodnight so long and goodnight so long and goodnight so long and goodnight so long and goodnight so long and goodnight so long and goodnight so long and goodnight so long and goodnight so long and goodnight so long and goodnight.


You have to update, too, Aaron. You have to update, too. Every thought counts. Every thought makes you your own person. Unique. Loved. Every thought counts, and the more you recognize those thoughts, the stronger they get.

This is practice for life, you have to update, too.

Every. Thought. Counts.

So long and goodnight.




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