rainy

My heart in a knot
2013-01-13 21:44:39 (UTC)

Hypertension

I feel a bit of hypertension...it's a combination of things, for one I'm starting classes tomorrow at 10am, I still haven't gotten my books yet plus the financial Aid system has been confusing me more and more each day. It's just upsetting because I've spent more money then I intended and since I'm not working as much I know I will only bring in a little.


The next thing is Tasneem..things kind of got taken to another level of intensity after I stumbled across something.. as much as I'd love to go into details I don't want to because I don't want anyone reading this to think anything wrong of me without knowing all the facts. But I will say she seems more distant then ever and it's a bit upsetting.. I feel myself trying to walk myself through this situation to calm myself down, I'm compromising with myself and weighing the good and bad if I choose to do certain things as I crave for her attention.. I don't understand it.. it's like a urge that won't let me go.


The other thing is work, now that I'm taking this new step into the unknown it has me worried..mostly because I'm moving out of my safety and comfort zone I'm also taking a risk of possibly loosing my job which makes me a bit worried since this job is very good at working with my class schedule I really wouldn't want to loose my job then spend months out of work only to eventually find a job that didn't want to work with my class schedule. I guess this is just a chance I am taking, I am hoping it is the right move to make and not a huge mistake..

But despite all my issues I still feel excited about starting classes and I know I have to go in and give it my best. So tomorrow I'm going to have a good breakfast and hopefully get a good nights rest tonight so tomorrow I can focus and be ready to start this next academic journey... Tasneem or no Tasneem.... (but I really wanted Tasneem)..


Maybe I'll meet someone new soon.. I hope so.. this single life is starting to take it's toll on me.


Well it's 10pm now so I am going to try and get some sleep now.. I'm hoping for the best tomorrow and I really hope I won't have trouble finding a parking spot.




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