rainy

My heart in a knot
2012-07-28 20:19:48 (UTC)

I hate this weather

Right now it's thundering and lightening pretty bad, in fact it's been doing that a lot lately, I haven't seen weather this bad in a real long time. The thing is that it's real hot during the day and then at night we seem to get all this rain and stormy weather. I heard it was like this in a ton of different areas, all across the United States. I also heard they were dealing with a drought in some areas.. it seems like we get enough rain here though.


The situation surrounding "K" got a bit weird today when I found out something.. my plans are all kind of ruined now. I have a bunch of feelings that I don't really feel like writing about.


I found out why I was having so many emotions and difficulty concentrating lately.. I was just pmsing... lol, sorry if that's TMI, but I always find it funny when I write about that here and the next day I get my period. It seems like a lot goes on with me during my period.

I was at work today for a full 8 hour shift, and it wasn't that bad actually. Megan spoke to me today, it's kind of funny actually because she seems to actually want to talk to me! she came down to my register and asked the same question she always ask when she comes to my register! lol she says "can I check out here? or do you want me to go somewhere else?" lol I think it's funny because she always seems to have this idea that I don't want her to check out with me, like she needs my permission or something. Anyway, she was buying a small cheap item worth only .54 cents and she only had a $20, and I was waiting for change, but she was also waiting for a ride home from her boyfriend who was late about 20 minutes


So we stood down there and chatted for a short while, not the entire time, some guy said the two of us would make good roommates, I guess because we are both the same height and around the same age. She asked me did I live with my parents and I told her yes, it was only a little embarrassing because I know she knows I don't make a lot of money to be living by myself, I told her I was going to be moving in with my sister though soon. She told me she was going to be decorating her daughters room, her daughter is 4, she said that her daughter didn't want to be in her room because her room was too boring, I think really it's just that at that age children are very social and usually want to be around other people and not alone in a room, even if they have a ton of toys and things.


That was about the extent of our conversation, she is very personal, and what I mean by that is that it is personal in a friendly way.. or like she doesn't even really know me but she talks to me as if she does.


Anyway there was another girl in the store who said she liked my shoes, she kept staring at me when she walked by, it seemed like she might of wanted to actually talk to me..I felt that today people might actually want to get to know me. Of course I couldn't really tell.


I always look at people and how they have so many friends and people in their lives like "K" for instance, it seems almost impossible to get into their lives because they seem constantly busy with their social life that they have no time for anything else or someone like me. I think that was her issue.


I can't tell if Megan has a ton of friends, I think I was able to see her friends list once but since then it seems to have disappeared.. I don't remember the number of friend I saw when it was accessible either, possibly in the hundreds, but I don't think it was as many as "K".

Well... the storm has subsided a bit, there is still thunder and lightening.. and rain.. but it's not as bad as it was a hour ago. I was just staring out my window when it was bad and though we all have grown so detached from Mother Nature, I thought about all I had learned in my biology and geology class and realized that here in society we spend so much time fighting each other and using one another when Mother Nature can come and wipe us all out in one blow. Nature is so much more powerful then us, I wish people would see that more. Right now I'm safe in my house, but who knows maybe there will be a day when I have to suffer through homelessness, I don't know what the future holds for me, all I can really do is try to shape it as best I can by making the right decisions now.


There are people who are preparing for "doomsday" I don't know the whole story on doomsday, all I know is that it's supposed to be this year in December, I don't think I really believe it, I have heard so many people with stories about "the end of the world" and still we are here.. of course I think one day Mother Nature will come and wipe us out, a lot of people seem to think we Homosapiens have been around forever, but in geological years we have only been here a short while, the earth had to go through so many changes for us to be alive today...


it's kind of funny but when I learned all this in my geology class I thought to myself.. "What if human civilization has started multiple times already?" .. what I mean by that is what if the earth had reverted to it's original state by human years of 2099 (or any random date) and humans had thought we where here to stay forever, yet mother nature surprised us and made earth unlivable for us... we all died.. then the earth once again started to form so that the earth was once again livable but of course all of our modern technology and ways of life were destroyed, and the new humans had to start from scratch again.. lol.. it was just an idea that passed through my mind, of course I don't think fossil evidence supports it, of course I guess it could be possible.


Sometimes humans annoy me... because we are all so divided, I think the fact that we all need the same things to continue our lives should unite us. Maybe if the continents were not divided we wouldn't be divided... maybe we'd all live together in happiness. Of course we are always moving and the earth is always shaping so maybe one day in geological years we will all be united.. then people will look at the year 2012 the way I look at years like 1600.

Well I've had very little sleep... it's amazing I was able to write this.. of course I need to sleep..




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