2012-07-23 09:31:24 ( UTC )
First Heart Break
Your the one that opens my heart to a whole new feeling, even though your the cause of my
tears and sorrow. Before I had met you my emotions has been shut off, but thanks to you I
gain them back. Thanks to you I remember the reasons why I had try to shut those emotions
up . Tear, anger , sorrow, frustration , and love was something I try to avoid because I
knew it would bring nothing but pain. At the end you help me regain this part of humanity
in me. I had never cry as much as I had did now after knowing that this will be the end of
our relationship. I wish I can say " Hell, I don't need you!" , but then I'll be lying.
You was there when I need a shoulder to cry on and you was there when I just needed
someone to embrace. But now your not here no more , so who is here to stop my tears? I
wish I can hate you.
In the beginning I treated your love for granted because I don't want to end up playing
hard in this love game. Due to my lack of emotions and history of dealing w. shit I ended
up hurting you during the times that was suppose to be the best time of our relationship.
The past can't be undone , but I'm happy for the times we had spend together and the tears
and anger we share. You made my life more alive even though sometimes I want to smack you
across the face. People says young love will be soon be forgotten and a new one would soon
appear. I hope this saying is true, because after this I'm going back into the stage of
depression and feeling of loneliness.
I try to stand strong for those around me , so they don't have anything to worry about. I
even take on the burdens of other pains, but who is going to help me take care of mine,
when your gone?
I'll hide my tears in my sleep for I hope when I wake up it will soon be over.
I want to text you " I love you " so we can be together again , but you said your over w.
us and that hurts me deeply and my pride just won't take it ... I can't send those 3
simple words to you.
Maybe in the future I shall laugh at this experience but at this moment I just want to cry
my hearts out until there nothing left. I'm sick of these tears , but I also welcome the
relief they bring along.
Maybe I'll even send this part of my entry to him , but right now isn't the right time. We
both are trying to move on and this will only cause us more trouble.
To Wang Yifu
Hey , where the fuck are you , when I need you ? You promise me before that you will
always be there to catch my tears. Your awkward turtle plushie, you gave me, catches more
of my tears than you do. I'm lonely and scared , where are those sweet words you always
says to help me keep the nightmare way? I feel lonely and scared do you know that ? Hahah
I guess you don't. How could you when I always bottle up my emotions. Lol When you make me
open up to you do you know how hard it is ? There just so much emotions trying to rush out
at once I try so hard not to break down b.c my pride won't allow me to. I give you a face
like I don't give a fuck, but in truth hahah I do care.
:D I'll try to stay strong once again !! I'll stop my tears and face the world !! hahah xD
bye bye stupid tear and bye bye my FIRST love
( Yes, your my first love you idiot ! You are the 1st guy I had ever spend so much effort
and emotions on)
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