Truthful

Finding my flow
2012-06-10 21:57:18 (UTC)

Reaching rock bottom in depression

Will I survive this time?
Let me make sure that I don't go back before I feel very good about myself and my struggle in life.
Life is a struggle and no one is perfect. Everyone has insecurities.

Okay now:

Depression sucks! I need a solution to avoid getting into this loop again and again.
One way - build Hope.
Another - reliable support system.
Thirdly - Be smart than ethical. When it comes to survival, all is fair.

Let me discuss with the doctor tomorrow and try to come up with a solution.

A proper shaadi (marriage) can help me. Then pregnancy can help me.
But Should I convey this to him?

Consolidated Hope can help me...when I look forward to something ki chalo abhi kaam ker lete hain, phir December mein to shaadi hai hi.
yaah whatever...
I am sooooo good man! I am one of my kind.

Let me wait! I shall write email to Ash after meeting with doctor and consulting Ayurveda doctor.
I need to find a place to live. Living with parents is not going to work for long.
Yahan sabka apna hi rehta hai..lack of opportunities and resources.
Ash is my one hope. Need to get back to work. Very very important.
I shall reward myself for my survival and sustainability because I know that nobody else will do it.
It's better to stay in an Aashram than at home. Mummy is so much after my life to smile, look good etc...
Kya mera kaam is duniya mein sunder dikhna hai.
It seems ki motivation mil gaya life ka. Nice!
:( :( :( depression kaise kum hoga?
Parents don't support. :( kaise, kaise, kaise.....
I am feeling so low about myself.




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