rainy

My heart in a knot
2012-03-12 21:24:06 (UTC)

: /

I wanted to come write because I'm still feeling stressed out. Today was a very boring day at work.

I'm still working there. I am doing an experiment with the other places I applied to, I am going to see what unfolds in the next few days.


My camera case arrived today and I love it, it fits perfectly, and it even fits with my wide angle lens attached too, although it stretches it a bit. Lately I had been starting to wonder if I should even keep up with p365 because none of my photos have been coming out the way I want them to, the more I explore other people's work the more I begin to feel that I can't even begin to compare. But I'm working on things, and I've learned so much about my camera, but I feel like most of everything I know is how and where/when not to take a photo lol


for instance.. you should always have the light facing away from the lens.. lighting has given me the most trouble, now I'm saving up for some accessories that will help me get better lighting, one is a light diffuser and the other is a light reflector. They aren't that expensive but I make very little.

I just feel upset because I know some where I should be able to get these things for cheap.. As I was searching amazon I begin to wonder what happens to people's personal belongings when they die?? I mean.. this is not meant to sound harsh or anything, but I know some where someone has died who had a bunch of camera equipment and accessories..they can't take it all with them to the grave so what happens to it? do other family members take it? but wouldn't it feel weird...


I thought about what would happen to all my things if I died today.. I don't have a will, so I assume my family would pack it all up and try to sell it, or maybe even give it away.

I assume most thing that people have after they die end up in thrift shops, and I shop at those all the time, but it's hard to find really good things. I don't know how this will sound but I think that when someone dies and no one clams their things, they should be given away. I'm not talking about very personal things.. I'm talking about everyday things.. like cell phones, cars, TV's, clothes..etc..

of course I've never had anyone close to me die so I guess my idea might sound ridiculous to other people. It's just that you never can find free things that are good, and deceased people can't take these things with them, so they might as well be shared.

Ok lol I'm done talking about this,, lol how do I get started thinking about these things???

last week I found this web series called "beautiful people" it was on logo, and there was this Jamaican lady who did hair and these 2 boys who were obsessed with her curling irons in the window, they were staring at them through the window and she comes out and yells at them and says they will never be theirs because she was taking them to her grave lol , and she did take them to her grave!! that show was ridiculously funny.

btw I've been eating meat and eggs like crazy.. lol I think my stomach is starting to adjust to things now. I've also been eating a lot more yogurt, and I love it. It doesn't look like I've put on much weight but I have, I haven't been on the scale lately but last time I checked I was 108 pounds, I guess ideally I would like to get to 120. How on earth am I going to put on that much weight??? I have no idea where food goes when I eat it, or maybe I'm not eating enough.

sometimes I'm too lazy to cook so I'll eat carrots, whole carrots lol. I actually love my carrots whole, and raw. I guess I just feel comfort from chewing them. I like to eat them on my way to work in the morning, can you imagine how I must look to other drivers siting in my car munching on a huge carrot?? lol I don't care I love them. Carrots are so easy to eat and they have enough water in them to be the perfect snack. I get them organic.. plus they are cheap! I don't get much energy from them but they will hold me over until I eat something else..


I'm going to be writing more about my diet, I really want to gain a little more weight.


well tomorrow is the big day!!! my midterm. I feel like I know enough.. I will still be studying right up until it's time to take it. I hope I do well because my grade is so good in that class right now, and I want to keep it that way : )




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