rainy

My heart in a knot
2011-12-31 21:36:59 (UTC)

New years eve 2011

So it's new years eve, the last day of 2011..I think I've watched enough news stories about people dying that all I can really say is that I'm happy to be alive to see 2012. I really have to stop watching the news, I don't care if I'm not up to date with all the latest info, it's like you can't escape hearing the tragedies, and my mind just can't function when I'm exposed to things like that.

anyway I'm bringing in the new years the same way as last year...asleep.. I've just learned to accept that I'm not a party person, and I'm fine with that now, nor am I going to accept someone trying to drag me out so I can do something I don't want to do, which is drink. Of course it would be nice to have a little fun, but I'm satisfied knowing I'm safe here.

I was reminded today of last year on the same day, that I didn't tell Kay happy new years... that was when she spoke to me and seemed to want to invite me out.. but I was being too nervous about the situation.. it would of been so perfect, and I might have known her all of 2011, but it didn't work out.. I was too nervous, I got up and left and missed out on the perfect opportunity. I miss her, but I feel better that we are apart until I can function better socially.

2012 will be my second year at my current job, I had hoped to be at a new job by now but I guess with the economy and my education/work skills need to be updated so I can get a better job. I'm ok with it for now since they are really good at working with my schedule and the people are not that bad.. it would be a lot better if Kay was still there though. I guess I should be saying that I'm happy to at least have a job.. and I am, but I wish I had a better job.

I don't know what to expect for 2012, I decided not to make any new years resolutions this year because I've tried that before and it has never worked.. I always end up forgetting or going back to my old ways. I've learned I do change, as I get older and my views on things change, so there is no need to set a goal for a year. But I am still doing Project 365.. I'm excited about it because I want to gain creativity, which I lack. It starts TOMORROW : )

btw it looks like 2011 I have written more then any year since I've been writing.. I have no idea why.. maybe I am spending too much time online, it's a bad habit I'm trying to break. Or maybe my writing has become more important to me... who knows..

Well.. happy new years..




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