Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2011-10-30 21:13:05 (UTC)

I Just Felt Like Writing...

Actually, I think about writing ALL the time. It's just getting myself to stop moving, sit down and actually take a couple moments to do it... If I could make it as much of a priority as exercising, I'd be good. And when I think of it that way, it seems all the more do-able. That's it. I find time to work out, I can find time to write. I always feel better (even if I wasn't feeling all that bad to begin with). That settles it! More writing time for Jennifer :)

So, it's been the better part of two months since my last entry. I wish I could say things have changed (come to think of it, no I don't. My life was and still is good). I'm feeling fantastic (mentally, physically, emotionally). I'm in a really centered, balanced place. Which is AWESOME. I can't tell you how good it feels to not be angst-y about SOMETHING. The kids are doing great, Snookums is well. I can't complain (well, I'm sure I could think of something if I tried, but why dwell on the petty stuff).

We got a dog! His name is Dingo. We adopted him from the Human Society last Monday, so it's been less than a week, but all seems to be going well. He's a little 11 pound Chihuahua/Terrier mix and such a good boy. I'm feeling a little guilty about Tanner still. I really wanted to give him a good home, but he just had too many issues. He's doing well with Alicia (a former co-worker of mine) and her family, so it's still a happy ending for him. Dingo is a much better fit for our family and doesn't have the emotional hang-ups or grooming issues, thank goodness.

As far as my social life goes, there still isn't much of one to speak of, but I am having more coffee dates with my friend Gen and we're even planning on going shopping together tomorrow! So, that's improvement. I'm starting to accept that my life has changed so much, so dramatically, that I don't really have much in common with people I used to call my friends. Facebook keeps us acquainted, but I wouldn't call them friends. Most of them don't care about, understand or care to understand about my life now. Some even think what I do is "gross" or "unneccesary" (lifting weights, building muscle, strength training of any kind). There is a huge difference between being a bodybuilder and being a fit person. I just want to be the best "me" I can be and if that doesn't jive with them, okay. I'm okay with just being facebook friends or even letting them go all-together. This was getting me down a few weeks ago, but I think I've managed to process my emotions about it sufficiently. I'm officially over it.

I re-did my body composition this morning. At first I was a little sad because I'm 5 pounds heavier than I was a couple months ago when I did it, but then I started looking at all the numbers and actually, I've made SO much progress since then! My body fat is down to 24% (from 29% back in August) and I've gained 9 pounds of muscle. I'm not arguing with progress like that. I went down another pants size and feel generally tighter and more toned. Exactly what I wanted. My ultimate goal is to get down to 20% body fat. That's ambitious, but at this point I'm starting to feel like it's totally attainable! We've got this exercise software called ActivTrax and I started using it (since I'm always signing members up for it, I figured I'd give it a shot). It's always challenging me, which I love. Good to know it's working :)

Speaking of finess, I'm SO proud of Snookums! He's still going strong! Working out 5 days a week, eating much healthier. You can see big changes in his body. I know he's proud of himself. I try to always be supportive and a source of motivation and inspiration. I do it at work for members, there's no reason why I can't do it for him at home. As much as he'll let me. He doesn't always want my help, but he knows I'm behind him 100%! Since he's been faithfully coming to the gym he's made all sorts of new friends, which is good for him. I couldn't be any happier, really. I just hope he keeps it up over the long term.

My work life is weird right now and needs some tweaking. I went from working my ass off 6-7 days a week to just two days a week at the Y. Lame. I'm not good at sitting around doing nothing. I have a couple options:

1) Apply for a member services position at the Y (basically work front desk/administration and my current Health Coach position).

OR

2) Open up my availability at Victoria's Secret.

We had a meeting this morning at VS, which was the deciding factor for my decision. I haven't worked a shift at VS since September. I figured because of my limited availability and it being a slow time of year. But then I started wondering if maybe it was a subtle way of telling me they didn't really want me working there anymore :( Thankfully the latter was not the case! I got a very warm welcome at the meeting. My manager even hugged me and told me how much she missed working with me. So, the decision is made. I'm opening up my availability at VS. Things have changed a lot in the 5 years I've worked there, but I pride myself on my adaptability. When others have quit, I've managed to make it work. Not to mention I get paid more at VS than at the Y (sad but true).

I'm starting to re-think my desire to become a certified personal trainer. I've discovered in the 6 months that I've worked at the Y that I absolutely HATE it when people whine and complain to me about being overweight and out of shape, but when I give them suggestions on what to do to fix the problem - tools they can work with, they don't listen or aren't willing to compley. Then a couple months later, they come back to me asking why it didn't work. Um, maybe because you didn't stick with it long enough to see results? I need to get over this, I know. But non-compliance is a HUGE pet peeve for me. Why would you ask someone what to do, get the answer, NOT do it, then blame the other person for their lack of success? Dumb. Inherently human, actually. I still hate it, though. Maybe if I do go through with the certification I'll set paramaters I expect my clients to work within. If they don't, I'll drop them. Simple as that. I fully intend to have compassion. I want to help people. I genuinely do. I just can't stand it when people want that quick fix that doesn't exist.

Okay, I think that's all for now. I've gotten out all my thoughts (I think... for now)!




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