rainy

My heart in a knot
2011-08-23 13:51:53 (UTC)

Another bad day

So besides yesterday being a really crappy day I just had another bad day today..

In Geology lab.. the class is fine and interesting. But lab I have trouble in, mostly social. I just did not understand what was going on.

But that was not the problem, the problem was group assignments, we had to identify minerals.. in groups of 3 or less. Needless to say I was in a group of 1. I watched people scatter from me like fly's and I felt ashamed and embarrassed.. I've never felt so lonely around so many people before. I tried to carry on.. but couldn't, I started to cry so I left before it got worst. Once I cry it turns into anger.

I just wanted to enjoy the lab and work with someone, I wanted to identify the minerals and learn about them, but I couldn't. I couldn't because I felt too isolated. People just don't like me.. I don't know why... I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. Today I didn't take my camera but I should have.

That moment was so overwhelming and intense for me, sitting there alone while everyone else worked in groups. It's the story of my life, not fitting in. I hated it, I can't stop thinking and crying about it.

I don't know what I'm going to do now.. how can I possibly pass the class without doing the labs? I can't.. But I'm sick of sitting alone, working by myself, not understanding what to do. I can't understand why I'm not significant.

I just feel lost.




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