rainy

My heart in a knot
2011-07-03 22:24:18 (UTC)

cleaning

So I'm just now getting a break from cleaning. I washed my clothes and linen, I also washed my hair in the shower and cleaned my car out. I sometimes just allow my car to become a huge trash can.

Anyway-- I'm kinda in a down mood, tomorrow is the 4th of july and I don't have anything to do. Well I have work.. but besides that I have nothing to do, and I haven't seen any fireworks in years.. I just wish my life were different.

Not only that but I've been having issues with my self-image. I'm so hooked on looks and even a bit superficial that I turn against myself, I feel like I can't be happy with the way I look in a sense that I just want to be someone else. I don't think I'd even be satisfied with myself if I could fix the things I hate the most and still remain the same, I just need to be in an entirely different body.

I hate to complain right now because I know that I should look on the bright side of things and think positive.. it would help a lot but I think people do that best when they are motivated and encouraged by other people in their lives, my problem is that I don't have anyone in my life like that.




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