rainy

My heart in a knot
2011-07-02 23:30:52 (UTC)

"intellectual"

So there is a local blog that I came across earlier this year by some local "university" students-- it's collaborative and one blogger in particular who I came across online who was conducting some type of "research".. After reading her entry about how she browsed the internet looking for people with only experimentation in mind I became upset with her. She described herself as an "Intellectual", and I admit she is a powerful writer. But it's very academically structured.

I was offended by her, and even a little hurt. It then turned to jealousy because I felt that I don't write as efficiently as her, in fact you can see the flaws in my writing in this paragraph alone. I want to influence people and create ideas and explain them "intellectually" but I feel so restricted.. But I know I can improve.. although I won't do it here.. this site is where I put my raw emotions, and if it happens to come out along side bad spelling and grammar then that's just how it is.

However I still feel the need to prove to people that I can be better then I am, I want people read what I have to say and be influenced by it. I enjoy writing, however I mostly write for pleasure-- I want to take it to the next level.

The site they use is blogger-- it allows a lot more creativity and you can incorporate photos and other effects, however it's a google site and I hate google. -- but I'm going to try it anyway. I want to be a better writer-- it's very frustrating sometimes when I want to write something but I don't have the right words for it, maybe it's because I don't read much, I feel almost stuck in this elementary style of writing that I've adapted to.

Simply put "I should be able to explain things better" but I don't..




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