Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2011-05-02 05:09:20 (UTC)

Larger Than Life

I feel like a complete and utter failure today. Rationally, I know I'm not. Actually, I haven't done anything to warrant feeling this way. But if the entire world thought and acted rationally 100% of the time, life wouldn't be nearly as interesting. PMS is kicking my ass and there's not a whole lot I can do about it... other than cry (which I've already done a couple times today - no reason). It did make me happy to see that I'm at the top of the "most popular diaries" list. I'm not sure how they decide who makes that list, but I'm always surprised to see my diary there. The life and meanderings of a 20-something married lady with three kids doesn't sound like it would make for interesting reading. So, thank you to whoever out there happens to read this. I derive pleasure simply from writing it...

Remember how I said I was going to try to get up earlier from now on? Or maybe it was from Monday on? Well, that most definitely didn't happen this morning. Somehow, I didn't wake up until after 11am. Thank goodness Snookums stays on military time (always up by 0530, whether he likes it or not) or the kids would have destroyed the house. Keenan being the primary culprit, the girls pretending they don't see him sprinkling baby powder on the kitchen floor or systematically removing all of the fruit from the refrigerator and lining it up across the living room table (these are true examples, by the way). So, yeah. Epic fail on the "early wake-up" challenge. I'll try again tomorrow. Snookums said he'll wake me up when he gets up for work, but only once. If I swing at him, he's not attempting it again! I don't blame him. I'm a bitch in the morning.

Snookums just brought me a cup of green tea, how sweet :)

I wasn't sure what to do with myself today, so I defaulted to my usual favorite activity - I went to the gym. I got in a killer 90 minute lift session (to make up for the craptastic workout Friday, I suppose). Then I did something I've been fantasizing about since I seriously started running a few months ago. I'm not sure what to call it, let's just say it was bridge to bridge (I started at the Y, down Old Wheaten, across the Manette bridge, down 11th and Wheaton, across the Warren ave. bridge and back to the Y via Old Wheaton). It's a 6.5-7 mile loop and I did it in just under 40 minutes. I couldn't believe it! I mean, it wasn't stopwatch timed, but it was 3:05pm on the Welcome Center clock when I left and 3:45ish when I came back in. It's almost like I'm improving with every run! I love it!

I spent some time in the sauna to give my muscles a chance to relax, then came into the locker room to shower. As I was getting my things out of the locker, a lady came in that I've seen around a few times. She looked at me like she wanted to say something, then said "is that you on the poster?", which started a 30 minute conversation about health problems, diet plans, exercise routines. I didn't mind it, though. She's a middle-aged African American lady with type 2 diabetes, trying to lose weight to lower her blood pressure, blood sugar and cholesterol. She also has arthritis and wants to improve that. Her husband had gastric bypass and had some serious complications, which is what brought her to the Y. She wants to do it the "right" way (I don't think there's necessarily a wrong or right way, although surgery definitely wasn't for me). Maybe that larger than life poster wasn't such a bad thing after all :) I told her what worked for me and what didn't and I hope it helps.

I used to read some of the diaries on here (about weight loss) and I wish I could help those individuals the way I helped the lady at the gym today. I wish I could show them that starvation, diet pills or crazy fad diets aren't the way and aren't even necessary! There is a healthy, natural way to eat like a human being and still get to a desirable weight. But, I had to learn that lesson the hard way (on my own) and I guess they will have to as well. I just refuse to read their entries anymore, because it upsets me.

I think the reason I'm feeling failure-ish is because I ate stuff tonight that I don't usually eat. I tell myself that nothing is off limits, everything in moderation, but really I don't feel that way. I consider some foods "good" and others "bad" and I try to stay away from the "bad". Tonight I had white pasta, white bread, half a slice of chocolate cheesecake and I feel terrible about it. It's not even the calories. I'm sure I'm within my requirements (especially after my intense 3 hour workout). It isn't even that serious. I just wish I hadn't. Which is what I'm always telling myself. It's never REALLY worth it. Nothing tastes as good as fit feels. But tomorrow is another day and I'll make it a whole wheat, sans cheesecake, healthful kind of day :)




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