Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2011-04-28 21:32:25 (UTC)

It Has Finally Happened

Snookums just texted. He's on his way home from work. I have to get ready for work in half an hour, but there are things on my mind (which I might forget about or not feel like writing about by the time I get home, so I'll jot down a quick note now).

Ugh, the sex thing (that's what I'm officially calling it now, by the way). This morning Snookums tried to initiate 'something' and I had the intense urge to knee him in the groin. I didn't. Instead I pushed him away and told him to leave me alone. I don't know why I feel like I do, but it bothers me so much I stopped at Hallmark today and bought Snookums a card. I feel really bad about this, because he's done NOTHING to deserve it. Every now and then he'll make a comment that implies that I'm no longer interested in him and would prefer to be with a black man. I don't know where he gets that idea from. Just because I think the Old Spice guy is funny, doesn't mean I'm leaving him for a "brotha". The sad reality is, I want no man right now. I hate the very fact that men look at me. I'm so not into this right now! There are no major issues in our marriage (at the moment. Not to say there have never been, but there aren't any now), but I worry that this will quickly snowball into a HUGE issue. I don't want our world to fall apart simply because I don't feeling putting out. It makes part of me a little sad :(

It has finally happened. I walked into the gym today and there it was... My Y Story poster, big as life. In the stairwell on the way up to the cardio theater. After my unhappy moment with Snookums, I came into the gym feeling very introspective and wanting to be alone in my thoughts. Anonymous. Well, that shit wasn't happening. Everyone recognized me and everyone had comments, compliments, questions. You name it. I wonder how long it's going to be hanging there? I hope they don't put it in the e-newsletter they send to all the members! Or hang it on the bathroom stall doors! Ugh! I didn't fully think the whole scenario out. I'm gonna be a local celebrity for awhile and I don't at all like it! But, maybe it will quell some of the mean comments bitter bitches like to whisper about me when they think I can't hear. One can only hope...

I need to finish eating my lunch! I'm sure my soup is cold by now, but that whole wheat English muffin with melted Pepper Jack was simply divine. I will be having that again very soon :)




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