Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2011-04-22 06:59:55 (UTC)

I Lived For The Moment

I'm so tired. I didn't even realize I was tired until a girl at work pointed out that I looked tired. Then it hit me and the rest of the night started dragging :( Thank goodness I didn't have to close. I got off at 8pm.

I'm done with all of my necessary shopping! After dropping Keenan off at therapy, I went to Target and got all of the things I need for the kids this weekend. Their Easter stuff, Kiki's presents, stuff to make cupcakes for her class, etc. It's a huge relief, since I'm known for leaving things like that to the last minute. Snookums picked Keenan up from therapy so I wouldn't have to rush. I wanted to make sure I got Kiki gifts that she'll both like and use. Her big gift is a new bike. A big girl bike (although I did buy some removable training wheels, which will come off when daddy teaches her how to ride without them).

I already said work felt like it dragged, but when I did finally get off, there was a lovely surprise waiting for me at home. Snookums had set up a sweet little intimate evening for us. He'd bought me my favorite flowers (Stargazer lilies), lit pomegranate scented candles be bought himself, had a box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates and a box of Pot of Gold chocolates, Martinelli's sparkling apple marionberry cider (we don't drink real wine) on the coffee table with the flowers. He even had soft music playing. We sat and talked for awhile and enjoyed a few chocolates. I'm proud of myself for enjoying the moment, but NOT eating the entire box of fancy truffles. Chocolate used to be a serious weakness for me. Not anymore. I lived for the moment, not for the chocolate.

Eventually we migrated from the living room to our bedroom and this is when I kind of checked out. I don't know why, I can't explain it, but lately I have absolutely NOT been interested in sex at all. My sex drive is long gone and for some reason, I don't even miss it. There isn't anything wrong with me physically (I don't think). I have a wonderful, open, loving relationship with Snookums. There's nothing amiss. I just haven't been wanting it lately. I don't withhold from him, if he wants it, he can have it. I just have to try very hard to seem interested. Sometimes I get into, most of the time I don't. I feel bad, because I know it's not normal. I've talked with Snookums about it and he thinks I should see a therapist (not because he thinks something's terribly wrong with me, but because a therapist would be better equipped to help me figure it out). Maybe. There's a strong possibility that I'm just too busy to slow down enough. I'm always on the go, working, taking care of kids, juggling Keenan's therapy schedule. It might require that I make more of an effort to initiate... I'm hoping my indifference will pass. I kind of miss being a horny-toad ;)




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