Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
A Source of Light
Wow. I'm so tired my eyeballs literally feel like they're going to fall out (but on the plus side, the wrist pain that was bothering me last night has subsided. I think it was just tense muscles). I got home from work about an hour ago and it's taken me this long to finally start to wind down, but I think I'm almost there. I should sleep well tonight.
I had something really nice happen on my way to the gym. The Impala has been having a hard time holding onto it's hubcaps for some reason. I've lost three the past year and the fourth decided to come off today. A man driving behind me saw it happen, followed me to the gym to let me know, then escorted me back to where it came off. I thought that was really nice. He didn't have to do that. He could have just carried on with his day, but he chose to help me. That goes to show that there are still good people in the world. I thanked him, because he saved me $50! Genuine Chevrolet parts don't come cheap apparently.
Keenan didn't have therapy today (his therapist told me last week she'd be out today). So, I got in a really good workout. I focused more on weights than cardio, simply because that's what I felt like doing. My muscles are lusciously sore right now. I love feeling like I'm making progress :)
I'm a little irritated with myself at the moment. Lately (the past couple weeks), I've been slipping back into my old shopping ways. I'd managed to break myself of the habit (of shopping all the time), but now I'm backsliding. I think the catalyst was cleaning out my closet. I had to get rid of all the clothes that don't fit anymore to make room for the ones that do. Only now, my closet is painfully empty. There must be a good 20 or 30 empty hangers in there. This makes me feel the need to fill them. I also got rid of some shoes that were too wide (or no longer worn), which means I've been buying shoes. Two pairs today! It's not that we don't have the money. We do. I would just rather put it in savings if we don't need it for something constructive. While I thoroughly enjoy buying clothes for my new, smaller body, I don't NEED anything really. However, it feels AMAZING buying smalls instead of larges :) There is some shopping I need to do. There's the issue of the kids' Easter outfits (I got them new shoes today, but the outfits I'll find tomorrow) and Kiki's birthday is next week, so I need to buy the birthday girl some presents. Then I'm putting the credit cards away unless it's a necessity! Maybe...
Speaking of purchases, I did make a purchase tonight that I don't feel at all guilty about. On my break, I stopped in Barnes & Noble and bought myself a deck of Buddhist prayer cards. Each card has a different inspirational saying or affirmation on it and the box they came in acts as an easel to hold your chosen card while you meditate. I love it! I think it will help elevate my level of concentration while meditating. Having something outside of life to focus on helps quiet the mind. Much like chanting a mantra or feeling the weight of the mala in your hand. Just another tool to help in the quest for enlightenment. Buddhism has made me a much more centered person. I'm calm, happy and very peaceful. Buddhism has changed my life and probably had a lot to do with my weight loss success, too. I have a book called Buddha's Little Instruction Book and in it there is a passage on "eating meditation". It says "When you eat, eat slowly and listen to your body. Let your stomach tell you when to stop, not your eyes or your tongue". Simple enough and that's really all it takes. Being mindful in all aspects of life has done wonders for me. Small steps add up to monumental strides. I've come out of the darkness and hopefully can now be a source of light for others :)
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