rainy

My heart in a knot
2011-04-04 20:19:45 (UTC)

math fail

so I had my test a few hours ago and I completely failed it, I don't even have the results back but I just know that it was a bummer, I can't help but to wonder if I had not been working so much this past week would I of had more time to study and been able to get the concepts down better.. I also should of used other resources available to me like math videos on youtube and the tutor center.. but I didn't.


So now my average is down to a 69 at least... and if I get a decent score on test number 4 I possibly can bring my average to a C or low B. this sucks.. I want an A in that class because I need it plus the material is not that hard, but probability was just confusing in some areas. I hope statistics will not be so hard because I have to take an entire course on it when I get to higher level math.

Well to relax my brain I'm going to watch a few movies.. most people my age go out and party with their friends and have a few drinks to relieve stress but all I do is watch movies.. dance.. or get myself something sweet like organic candy. I want to do things like other women but I'm different and can't seem to fit in... I think kay see's that and that might be another reason why she doesn't like me.. I like her though and I'm dying to talk to her, I just want to talk to her forever about everything possible.


I think I'm starting to look a lot better too.. I'm making a lot of improvements in my image, and despite being very petite I think I'm actually starting to look like an adult. I sometimes feel that I will never be an adult though.. weird huh..


btw on campus today I saw a beautiful girl, I was coming down the elevator and when the door opened there she was staring at me, I think it was because we were the same height : ) I think I kind of surprised her, it felt like we were standing there for a minute but in reality we only stared for like 15seconds until we departed ways.. had she not moved I would of stood there, lol. I hope I can see her again, I felt like we should of been friends..


when I think about it I see girls on campus the same height as me all the time, and I always wonder where do they come from?? where do they hang out and work? I want to start a group of petite women because it's nice to hang out with people the same eye level as yourself.


I'm sorry to say I have been missing sean, I'm upset that I'm even writing about him.. I just looked at his twitter page and I think he is gone out of town... he is always going some place.. He had been saying for a while he planned on moving to NYC or SF, NYC is the kind of place for him, with so many distractions going on (and girls) he will never have the time to think about me or wonder what I'm doing. I feel kind of like I want to at least say goodbye to him considering that he did have some good sides to him, but all I can think about sometimes are his bad sides..


I'm still looking for another job, I want to find one soon, when I do I will ask kay out, and if she says no then I will leave.




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