Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2011-03-30 17:08:43 (UTC)

A Few Small Changes Can Change Everything

It used to be late nights were when I did my binging. After everyone was asleep and no one was around to witness my shame. I'd think about all the things I'd eat once I was alone. Sometimes, I'd buy special binge foods and hide them just for the occasion. I used to feel like deprivation was all around me. I couldn't eat what other people eat, I couldn't enjoy life the way other's do. Because I was fat and fat people need to deprive themselves, so others think at least they're TRYING not to be fat anymore... It's amazing how a few small changes can change everything.

Last week, I bought Snookums a half gallon of chocolate peanut butter cup ice cream. It's been hanging out in the freezer and I haven't give it much thought (that in and of itself is a miracle). Well, last night (in the lonely darkness), I felt like maybe I'd like to eat some of that ice cream. I went in the freezer, took out the container and a spoon... I ate 4 spoonfuls and was DONE. CRAZY!! The old me would NEVER have done that. I would have decimated what was left of that half pint of sin.

I'm getting asked more and more lately how I lost the 92 pounds. THIS is how I lost it. I stopped dieting and I started living. Moderation in all things. Balance. I don't feel like there is anything I CAN'T eat, but there are a lot of things I choose not to eat. Hiding emotional eating is no way to live. I love the way I feel now. I'm not in a temporary lull of sanity. I'm truly on a healthy path now. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I'm finally whole.




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