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2010-10-28 19:28:08 (UTC)

Love, loathe, repeat.

So suz broke up with me tonight. I finished working and headed down
to the pub where she was, she was a little bit drunk already, not
really noticeable but still. The second I got there my mate Adam
said "did you see the look she gave you? If looks could kill" which
pretty much says it all. Drink later and she said can we go out the
back for a minute. That's all it took, don't really know how I feel
about it right now. I think the thing i'm most upset about, is after
I left I went to hers and posted the key through the door, as she
lives right at the back of my local, which is now her local,
awesome. However, soon as I got home I thought fuck, I forgot to get
my dvds and shit from hers. Which now means seeing her again to
collect my things.

I doubt i'll be friends with her, I don't actually want to see her
again. The next time I see her she'll probably tell me all about her
new bf anyway, but I really don't give a shit anymore. The truth of
the matter is i'm not completely over you anyway. I'm very tempted
to get in touch with you but I don't know, I probably won't, but I
really don't know anymore. I'm back at that stage where I don't know
wtf i'm doing anymore. I feel like cutting, I feel mainly like going
to sleep though. I have nights over the next few days which is going
to be shit as i've been doing mornings during this week.

Over all I guess you could say the last 5 months have been complete
pointless shit. We'd of been 6 months on dec 12th. We've been
talking about going abroad, we even booked two weeks off in November
to get away and travel and shit, well I guess them plans are fucked.
Fucking great. The funny thing is i'm more pissed off with the fact
that you don't talk to me than I am of my ex gf breaking up with me,

I'm looking out a window, into a world that's taking you from me.
I'm feeling so disgusted, how pathetic can I possibly be?