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2010-06-22 17:16:54 (UTC)

I'm moving on, forget you.

The last few days have been really good, but also a little
weird. To be honest the last few weeks have been good. I'm
no longer bothered or interested in anyone other than my gf
Suz, although thoughts of you keep coming back to me. Hence
a weird few days. I realized Sian's true self about 2
months ago, before asking Suz out. It's obvious looking
back at it, but basically she uses people until she gets
what she wants out of them, then moves on. I guess that's
fine for me though, seeing as the whole idea was to use her
to get you out of my system and then move on from her. As
for Heidi, i've realized the only reason I ever thought
things could or would happen with her is because I had
everyone telling me she likes me, and how all I wanted was
to be in a relationship again, because of you.

The last few days however, it's either been me at Suz's or
Suz at mine and it's been really nice, it's obvious that
we're both mad about each other. I guess the only problem
is that i've been thinking of you lately. We haven't talked
since before Turkey, you've not tried to get into contact
with me, which I should be thankful about. At the same time
I just wish we could of said our goodbyes instead of me not
knowing what we're doing anymore. Again, something I should
be grateful for and not give a shit about. It's always like
this though, I go without talking to you for awhile and I
feel this need to talk to you, like i'm addicted.

Another reason I think i'm over thinking about you more
lately, is because during the day i've not been doing
anything, like today; I spent the morning with Suz, slept
all day and now i'm here. Main reason for that is because
i'm skint till the 2nd, following my birthday and a few
more tattoos. Like a lot of people i'd imagine, I start to
over think shit I don't want to be thinking about when i'm
bored, I need to keep myself busy. I guess today is going
to be one of them days.

Now I'm special? Oh, I didn't feel special when I was with
you, all I ever felt was this helplessness, imprisoned by a
selfish bitch.