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2010-05-29 13:46:08 (UTC)

I hope he bought you roses.

3 weeks since I last cut. 4 weeks since you last went out of your way to
talk to me. I'd like to say and hope that this is me getting over you, but
the truth is I want to cut so bad, that I cried myself to sleep over you last
night. I feel like my hearts been broken all over again, I'm not really sure
why, this kinda happens every few months when we're distant.

I wonder when you realised you didn't love me. When you realised you
didn't care about me or give a shit. Your clearly back with your ex, you've
clearly removed me from your life. The best part is how I believed in you,
the way I put so much trust in us. I know I've changed since we were
together, but I don't understand how that is a bad thing, I have more
friends now, I'm out and about more now. Maybe that's what you didn't
like? Before you were my everything, you still are but now I have other
people in my life.

I love how I do this, how everytime I start to try and add reason to your
complete fuck up over me. You never loved me, cared or gave a shit, you
used me because you were bored of your ex, well fuck you.

Do I burn all your shit now? Apparently it hurts more, I'm already hurting
so much I don't think my heart could take it. Maybe I should keep all your
things and lock them away somewhere, so in twenty years I can look back
and smile. Or realise you were everything I ever wanted and start cutting
again and try to get in touch with you. I hate everything you've done to
me, the way you make me feel just from hearing something you used to
say, or seeing something you used to like. You've fucked me up, do you
even notice? Do you even care?

Cut away, cut away.