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2010-05-11 08:21:14 (UTC)

I haven't felt the way I feel today in so long, it's hard for me to specify.

Everytime I see a picture of you my heart melts for you.
I'm pretty sure you've removed me from your phone and msn,
I don't really know why, I guess I kinda do but still,
thanks for letting me know we were done. I emailed you this
morning at 2am once I got home, I was kinda expecting
something back from you, I guess you won't really of used
the pc for another 2 hours before college.

I leave for turkey in an hour, and then it's sitting around
for an hour or two waiting in the airport. I'm prtty much
betting that when I come home two people won't be talking
to each other anymore, another friend won't have a
passport, won't have ID and won't have found a job. As for
my and you, i'm guessing you'll be completely back with
Matt, we'll no longe be friends and you'll ignore the shit
out of me.

It's always the problem coming home, the things you notic
the most aren't the people that have new things in thei
lives, it's not the way you've missed people. It's the
things that haven't changed. The way your house looks the
same as it did when you left, that inside the kitchen or
your bedroom are the same. Nothings moved, nothings
changed. You go back to your shitty deadend job, and it's
like, you have this huge story to tell everyone, this whole
new life experiance to show off, but you're back home now,
you have to basically shut it all out and pretend like it
never happened.

I have an hour to kill, I have nothing to do, and i'm
ready, my shit's packed. My J's rolled for the service
station, my shades are on. I have an hour.