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2010-05-04 00:38:57 (UTC)

I miss the comfort in being sad.

I sent you a really emotional email on Friday,
you haven't even tried to get in touch with
me, you don't even give a shit anymore. I
thought about how my life would be without
you today, how i'd manage without being
able to talk to you. I know I'd be better off for
it, I know I'd get over you and find someone
who really cares and loves me, even if it
takes years, eventually I'd move on.

I don't expect to hear off you before I leave
for turkey, which is painful to think about,
considering we used to be made for each
other. I really don't know what we're doing
anymore, how things got so fucked up
between us. I can't help but wish for
yesterday, everything was so much better
back then.

I don't know if I regret being with you, I don't
even know if I regret sleeping with you. I was
so happy with you, the only time I've ever
been happy was when I was with you. I
know you treat me like shit, I know you don't
care, you used to, not anymore.

I guess I'll call you this week, tell you I'm
leaving. I bet you don't stop me, I bet you
say fuck all except "okay".

You were never one for confrontation, but
now it lies all in your hands.