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2010-02-25 01:53:38 (UTC)

My heart, your hands.

I wake up feeling like shit, I spend most of my time
depressed or distracting myself from the depression, yet
you don't seem to care. Here I am, wondering what the point
of breathing is. I wish I didn't care, I wish I could just
forget you and move on, it's been 8 months, why can't I
accept that you don't care, that you never cared? I'm so
tired of waking up alone, i'm so tired of being alone.

I don't want to do this anymore, I don't want to be alive
anymore. You're such a head fuck, I wish I never fucked
you, I wish I never told you, or fell in love with you. You
leave me here broken and you don't even give a shit. It's
been so long since I last cut, we've been getting on okay,
we've been talking. One comment and i'm sitting here alone
again, cutting again, crying over you again.

You're going away in may, you're going to cuba with your
friends. I've been on and on at you to let me visit you,
but instead you just throw it in my face, fuck coming to
turkey with me, fuck letting me visit you or you stay here
with me, fuck how I feel, go to cuba with your fucking ex.
I hope he fucks you up,I hope you actually get to feel even
a minor amount of what I feel.

Cut my wrists and black my eyes, so I can fall asleep
tonight. My final breath is gone.