Jaeu

One big beautiful daily accident.
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2010-01-30 08:44:09 (UTC)

You're just wasting my time.

We haven't spoken in about a week, I miss you terribly. I
guess i'm trying so hard to preoccupy myself that i'm
never there for you, I never have to think about you. It
never works, all I do is think about you, how perfect you
are and how bad I want you. I think about the way you
react to the things I do, like when I bite your lip, or
when I push my hips against you. I miss the way you look
at me. I just miss everything about you so much.

Sigh, anyway. So I was in Saxilby this week, we were 6
including Sian, Heidi and Sian's bf Chris. Chris left
early on the second day (we slept over) so I got chance to
spend time with Sian, not a lot of time seeing as other
people were around us. We were sitting together in the
front room on the pull out couch at one point, Sian was
all putting the blanket over her feet so I did the same
and we ended up rubbing each others feet against one
another. Then she asked to borrow my phone to play a game
on it, only she wanted my phone to write a text telling me
she wanted me, basically.

While we were all getting ready to leave she went upstairs
to find her bag, I followed shortly. We ended up making
out with me pushing her against the wall and her telling
me to stop because the other people would hear us.

The train ride home was kinda awkward. She had text me
telling me to go back to hers and instead we ended up just
going back to Chris' place, where she's basically
sleeping. I think the reality hit her that she could lose
him.

We met up for a drink yestday, last time this happened we
ended up touching each other in a beer garden and
everything got really heated. This time we talked and went
back to hers, where she dyed her hair, nothing happened.

I know it's wrong, but i'm sick of this. Nothing's
happening with Heidi, nothing's really happening with
Sian. I'm pretty sure she's only interested in fucking
around with me when he pisses her off. I need to meet
someone, I want to be with you more than anything. I'm
hoping Sian meets up with me today and something happens.

You know I like you so you just tease me, you give me just
enough to hang on and on.

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