rainy

My heart in a knot
2009-12-17 21:37:49 (UTC)

Feelings

So today was no better then yesterday,and at the end of the
day I still felt the cold feeling of loneliness and made
another video about it.. I'm uploading it now which is why
I'm here since it will take a while.

Tonight I spoke with my cousin who I wrote about in my last
entry, I can't write about her tonight because I have other
things on my mind but I will say I feel uneasy talking to
her because of her history, but right now Im unsure about
what to do.


I also "tried" to call several people tonight, two who I
could not get up the nerves to call for what ever
reason..although talking to them might have been a good
thing. I have not been pushing myself hard enough and a part
of me feels like I need that push from someone else but
can't get it, but I'm working on it and I'm working on me, I
want a bigger and brighter future in the coming years
although things just seem to be getting worst...

I am working all the rest of this week since we are very
busy..I got paid today....


that is all for now... I need to pick another time for me to
explain myself better.




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