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2009-10-24 19:15:35 (UTC)

Any emotion is more than I can allow.

So today i'm feeling pretty anxious, mainly because of
work, i'm trying not to think or care about it, but I
guess my anxiety gets the best of me. I was working
somewhere I haven't worked before, so come 6 when my shift
finishes, I told Kev (new nights manager) that I was
leaving and he was like, "I'm expecting you to go back and
finish off the bit you have left, it won't take you long"
and I was just like, look it's 6, my shifts done i'm
leaving, and yeah, he basically kept saying how he was
expecting me to get it done before I leave, so I pretty
much just laughed and walked out, i'm guessing at the
start of tonights shift he's going to give me shit, lets
just see how far he pushes me, i'm walking out if he's a

I spoke to you when I got home from work, you were just
going to bed but came online to talk to me quickly before
you slept, or at least I think you did? It seemed more
like you came online to talk to someone else, probably
your ex. Maybe it was the drink, or the few tokes on a
joint I had, or maybe it really was the control over me
that you still so blatantly have. You make me smile so
easily, at first I was a little anxious 'cause of some guy
that you were out with, well not with but he was around
when you got to where ever it is you went last night.
Thankfully he fucked off chasing some other girl, you say
that you can't believe girls fall for his sweet talking
shit, but at the same time I feel like you like him, and
wish he was legit, I don't really know how that makes me

The simplest things you do and say make me so happy, I
really can't explain how perfect you are, how easily you
can just, make me feel so good about myself and allow me
to show a smile like i've never shown before. I guess I
don't really want to try and explain or even go there
after last time, the more in deph explanation I try to
give just upsets me.

Pardon me while I burst into flames. I've had enough of
the world and its people's mindless games, so pardon me
while I burn.