Jaeu

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2009-10-22 10:22:03 (UTC)

Depression gets the best of me.

I woke up today feeling okay, I don't really feel hung
over which is nice, considering the amount I drank last
night. I'd say within 10 minutes of waking up I wanted to
cut from thoughts of you. It's your birthday in 21 days, I
should be thinking about what gift to get you, instead all
I can think about is how i'm going to tell you we need to
stop being around each other, we need to stop talking and
stop seeing each other, that I need to get over you.

I love you so much which makes this so difficult, I guess
the only reason why I want to be your friend, besides the
fact that I think you're amazing, perfect, is that I want
to be with you, and I guess if we stop talking and i'm no
longer in your life, you might forget about me, or it
might mean we'll never be together again.

I guess we're nothing like we used to be, I guess we never
will be, I wish I didn't feel like this and get this way,
I just want to kiss you, fall asleep in your arms. I miss
you.

If you just walked away, what could I really say? Would it
matter anyway? Would it change how you feel?

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