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2009-09-20 07:44:04 (UTC)

As your voice fades.

So I watched that Derren Brown thing just now, how to
control the nation, or something. It was meant to stick you
to your seat? I watched it online off of channel4's stream,
he said during the show if you're watching it online it
won't work though, so I guess he kinda covered himself
there. Anyway, it didn't work, I really wanted it to but
yeah, no such luck.

You came online just as it was finishing, pretty drunk but
I guess not drunk enough that you were slurring your words,
you called me while we were talking on msn, something you
havn't done in a long time. You told me that you missed me
and that I could call you whenever I need you.

I understand that was the drink talking, but I say what's
really on my mind when i've been drinking, so surely that
means you miss me. I don't even know anymore, I still love
you but I feel like i'm being played. I guess when you said
you didn't know what you want and that you were confused
like 4 months ago that this is what you meant. You told me
that your ex wants to get back with you and then you do
something like this.

Why are the simplest things so fucking confusing. I need to
see you and hear your voice and look into your eyes, your
voice over the phone sounds so nice, just hearing your
voice makes my heart beat faster, i'm so in love with you.

It's nice to be alive and feel nothing at all.